The Power of FUN in Midlife

Anything But Mid is hosted by Amy Edwards and Whitney Stropp. Neither host is a doctor and nothing here is medical advice. Lightly cleaned for readability.

Whitney: I'm Whitney.

Amy: And I'm Amy, and this is midlife, but you're anything but mid.

Whitney: That was brr-la.

Amy: Yeah, because it's true. It is true. Whitney, I've read a horrifying article so I must share it.

Whitney: Oh, let's hear it. I can't wait to hear it.

Amy: I must share it. So, it is horrifying. It is called It was from It was from Woman's Day magazine, but then it was from the editors of Oprah Daily. Anyway, whatever. Okay. It was on Apple News, whatever. It's called Five Surprising Signs of Menopause.

Whitney: Okay.

Amy: So we already know

Whitney: Everything.

Amy: that literally fucking everything is a symptom.

Whitney: Yes.

Amy: So, th- this was discerned from some new book, I I think that's out, called The Book of Menopause.

Whitney: Oh yeah, who wrote it? I I've heard about it, yeah.

Amy: Oh, I don't know. Sorry.

Whitney: That's okay, go ahead.

Amy: Anyway, I didn't write that down. Yeah, we know everything's a symptom, but here's five surprising ones. Are you ready?

Whitney: Okay.

Amy: One is sensory overload. So this is one of perimenopause and menopause's strangest symptoms, and for some women, it's And I just want to add, this is me. I've always been prone to sensory overload, but I feel it so much more nowadays, and even especially when I travel. And this is what it says. Said, "For some women, it's just one sense, taste, touch, or smell, that suddenly goes haywire. For others, everyday life starts to feel overwhelmingly loud, crowded, or chaotic." Like, I'll drive with no radio, nothing on, you know. Like, it's crazy. "Estrogen," so here's how they describe it. "Estrogen is the referee, and neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine are the players. Without estrogen helping organize the constant stream of sensory information the brain receives, everyday sights, sounds, and sensations can suddenly feel overwhelming. Women with ADHD or autism," or any neurodivergence, probably, "who may already have differences in sensory processing can find this especially challenging." I Like, I've never been

Whitney: It is so unfair!

Amy: It's so unfair. I've never been diagnosed with anything, but looking back on my life, I'm like, I have real deal sensory processing issues, sensory overload issues, or hypersensitivity to to, literally, taste and textures, anything blowing on me makes me insane. I hate ceiling Stop it. I hate ceiling fans, I hate air vents, I hate

Whitney: Oh, really? You hate ceiling fans? How do you sleep?

Amy: I have literally taken them out of out of my bedroom. Yeah, I hate them. I hate anything blowing on me, even I can't even pull up the covers because then it'll blow on my face, and I'm like, I hate it so much. Like, I'm hypersensitive. Now when I travel, I have to wear tinted glasses, noise-canceling headphones. Like, I have to lower the volume,

Whitney: Oh, wow.

Amy: like in every way, on the world. Like, and if an air vent's blowing on me in the plane

Whitney: And that started since menopause?

Amy: I've kind of always done that, but the travel part has started pretty intensely in the last two years, where I'm like, I have to tone everything down, it's just too much.

Whitney: Yeah.

Amy: And and it wears me out. It's so weird. And like, I have always been hypersensitive to smells, to like What What am I forgetting? Like Oh, that's all my senses, yeah.

Whitney: Yeah.

Amy: Yeah.

Whitney: I I feel that a little bit about crowds and stuff now, like and I just thought it was I just thought it was because old people don't like crowds. Which I guess is kind of true, cuz

Amy: That's true. That's true.

Whitney: Well,

Amy: They don't like crowds because it's too much.

Whitney: they don't have the estrogen. Yeah, interesting, cuz normally I would be all up in I mean, you know, I like to be in big events with a lot of people, and and now I'm getting to a point where I'm like, "Uh, too many people. No, I don't want to do that."

Amy: Yeah.

Whitney: Wow. All right.

Amy: Isn't that interesting? Okay, the second one is dry mouth. Declining estrogen makes saliva production decrease. God damn it.

Whitney: What?

Amy: Yeah.

Whitney: I have dry mouth!

Amy: It's a menopause symptom.

Whitney: That

Amy: Well, you were literally surprised. That was surprising.

Whitney: I was! Next.

Amy: Next is foot pain. Oh, fucking A.

Whitney: Like cramping?

Amy: "Declining estrogen makes your ligaments loosen."

Whitney: Ew, loose ligaments.

Amy: I know, it sounds awful. It sounds like you're just like, "Ooh." Yeah, so foot pain, which I experience foot pain. I just sprained my foot a couple weeks ago, so anyway. Yeah, which was probably my loose ligaments just loosening around, and I sprained my foot.

Whitney: Just loosen up.

Amy: So anyway, which I didn't even know you could do. Anyway,

Whitney: Oh yeah, I did know that.

Amy: Yeah. My bruise is still healing, but it's much better. Okay.

Whitney: And you did it like just getting up. Like it wasn't a

Amy: Stepping off a step in Birkenstocks. That's right.

Whitney: In Birkenstocks. In rubber Birks.

Amy: Okay, so I know my cousin texted me and was like, "Did you do this in platforms?" And I was like, "No, baby, no, honey. No, honey." Next is something called frozen shoulder.

Whitney: Oh yeah, my mom has had that.

Amy: What?

Whitney: Yeah, frozen shoulder.

Amy: I've never heard of it. Okay.

Whitney: I thought it I didn't Okay, go ahead.

Amy: It's a symptom of menopause because it increases inflammation around your joints.

Whitney: Everything's dry!

Amy: That inflammation causes the shoulder capsule to tighten, limiting movement and making even simple activities painful, and unfortunately frozen shoulder can last a year or two.

Whitney: That's interesting, cuz I was thinking, "Oh, it might have to do with lubrication," but nope, it wasn't.

Amy: HRT helps with that one, it said, okay.

Whitney: Okay, good. Finally, that's my next question is, okay, that's fine that it causes all this, but then we're on hormones, so shouldn't that all be rectified?

Amy: No joke.

Whitney: So annoying.

Amy: So annoying. A friend of mine just upped her estrogen, and she uses a gel, so I'm like, I got to know more. So I'm going to keep up with that. I was like, please keep me posted. Okay, so she's she's a total guinea pig, I love it. So ringing in the ears is the final one.

Whitney: Yeah.

Amy: So ringing in the ears. Tiny hair cells in the inner ear can be damaged by aging, certain meds, or years of loud noise,

Whitney: Yeah, I was going to say, I've been having ear ringing forever cuz I like to sit at the front.

Amy: but just aging. Those tiny hairs in your ear, when they stop sending clear signals, the brain may create sound.

Whitney: Oh.

Amy: Estrogen and progesterone are thought to be neuroprotective effects as those hormones decline. So the brain may react more, making the tinnitus more noticeable.

Whitney: Oh man.

Amy: Dang it. So those are five surprising signs, and I just thought that that was really kind of depressing. It is. Okay.

Whitney: It is. It is depressing.

Amy: So anyway, I wanted to share that with you and have you be depressed, too.

Whitney: I know. Well, I was going to share something that's a little down, but also empowering, but now I'm thinking maybe I should wait and do it another time.

Amy: Well, I don't know.

Whitney: But we're just going to go for it.

Amy: I can't answer that cuz I don't know what it is.

Whitney: We're going to go for it, cuz the truth is, I might forget.

Amy: The truth is, you'll probably forget. So, all right, what is it?

Whitney: Yes. I won't forget the incident, but I may forget to tell you about the incident.

Amy: Okay.

Whitney: So while I was in France, I get a phone call from my daughter. She's hysterically crying, and she says, "I was just attacked on the hike on the hiking trail."

Amy: Oh, no. Was this a scam?

Whitney: No, no, no, this was real. I wish it was a scam. That would have been something different.

Amy: She was attacked on the hike and bike trail in Austin?

Whitney: She was Not the hike and bike trail in Austin. It was in Pflugerville, at one of the hiking places that she goes to. It's like a park, it's not like out in the woods, you know.

Amy: Good, she shouldn't be out in the woods.

Whitney: No, and and it's a very well, you know, walked hiking area, but it was the scariest phone call to get because I'm in France,

Amy: There's nothing you can do.

Whitney: and there's nothing that I can do, and she's crying. She's 23, she's calling me, and I said immediately, I'm like, "Have you called 911?" She was with another person, and and that

Amy: And she's 22? 23. She was attacked when she was with another person?

Whitney: No, that person I'm going to tell you the story, and and and I'm telling this story for all of us as women and and men, if they're listening, but also for our daughters or our children, because she was a fucking badass.

Amy: Okay, okay. Sorry. Oh my gosh. What happened?

Whitney: So she's walking on the trail, and she passes this man, very tall, built man, and she gets a weird vibe. Like, she just instinctively is like, "Ugh." And then her next thought is, "Well, I can't outrun him." Nothing's happened. They're just crossing They're just passing by, but she's like, "Well, I can't outrun him."

Amy: She got a fright. Dude, our intuition is so amazing.

Whitney: It's crazy. They pass each other. She keeps walking. She stops to take a picture, cuz she's all into like nature and stuff. She stops to take a picture, and he gets her in a chokehold.

Amy: No! So he just came up behind her while she was taking a picture?

Whitney: He came up behind her, and put her in a chokehold, and pulled her to the ground. She's got a metal water bottle. She starts hitting him on the head. He is not deterred. And so

Amy: Oh, my god, Whitney.

Whitney: she screams out, I don't know how I don't know It was horrible. She said, "I was passing I was like seeing double. I felt like I was about to pass out."

Amy: I'm going to cry. Oh, my god. Holy shit.

Whitney: I don't know how when this happened, but she was able to yell out to him like, "Why are you doing this to me? You don't even know me." And the whole scene changed. He starts crying, and hugging her,

Amy: Oh, my god.

Whitney: and

Amy: Oh, that's so disturbing. Oh, my god.

Whitney: And so, she's she's able to sit up. She looks over, he's bleeding from the water bottle, so she says to him, "Why don't we start walking, and get you some medical attention?" So they get up, and they start walking. They walk for 10 minutes before she sees anybody else. So imagine what could have happened

Amy: She had to And then she had to walk?

Whitney: in that She had to walk with this guy. He is sharing things like, you know, "My mom hates me. Women hate me. I'm addicted to porn. I haven't had sex in all this time." And she's just like, "Uh-huh, uh-huh." Trying to, you know

Amy: And she has to manage this.

Whitney: She's managing it, she's dis- she's de-escalating the situation and making him feel heard, but she is in a panic, obviously, and the adrenaline's flowing. About 10 minutes into the walk, another hiker comes by, another man, and my daughter says, "Hey, do you think you could help us find some help for him? He needs medical attention." So that makes the hiker walk over to her, and as soon as he got close enough, she said, "Will you please walk with us? I don't feel safe."

Amy: Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

Whitney: And so now, the three of them

Amy: Good job, Sydney!

Whitney: I know. So now the three of them are walking, and the attacker is saying things like, "You guys aren't going to report me, right? Like I just I need help. Like you're not going to call the police, right?" And I don't really know exactly what all ensued, but at some point they are getting to an open area where there's like a gas station or something, and because they're walking towards something to get him some help, and he asks for my daughter's phone number.

Amy: Oh, my god.

Whitney: The attacker. That's how good she is with trying to maintain a a

Amy: Oh, my god, this makes me I have so many emotions going on right now.

Whitney: compassion. Oh, it was heartbreaking. And and at that point, when he asks for my daughter's phone number, the other hiker says, "You're not getting any information from her. I'm calling the police." And he called 911, and, of course, the guy ran off. They still haven't found him. This was in a This was in Pflugerville. By the way, I started researching, and never no one ever made a report, like no it didn't get picked up, like people don't know that that happened. And when the police came to to to take my daughter's report, they called the police, the EMT showed up, and a crisis counselor, which I was like, that's incredible.

Amy: It is.

Whitney: And she was told that a similar situation happened the week before on the same trail.

Amy: Nobody knew. This is like a serial killer in in motion, and no one knows.

Whitney: Nobody knew. Yeah, I mean, imagine what could have happened. And the fact that

Amy: Did they not have a camera at that gas station or something?

Whitney: They had just turned off, and I can't remember Do you know what those cameras are called that were all around the city, and people were Yes, and people were upset about it? They had just all been turned off the day before.

Amy: No!

Whitney: And so there's no real record of it, and he ran off. They They have a a a description of him, and and, you know, he actually gave my daughter his full name, but she cannot remember what it is, and that is haunting her. Yeah, I said,

Amy: She was in fight or flight, or fawn, or whatever. Oh, my god.

Whitney: "Let it go." Yeah, exactly. But the fact that she had the wherewithal Like, and it was interesting. I'm a firm believer, and I know you believe this, too, Amy, that that there are little tips and and and and little life moments that are going to give you a clue as to what's about to happen, but you might not know at the time. It's all in hindsight. So like when my husband died, when I look back on the

Amy: Yeah. For sure.

Whitney: like month before he died, I was given little

Amy: You were.

Whitney: little bits of information, like, well, and also gifts of having to having some conversa- I had a dream that he died, so we had a whole conversation about that. Yeah, I also he had a colleague whose wife and two unborn children died, so we had a conversation about that. You know, he sat me down like 2 weeks before he died to show us all of my all of the financial situation, which he did that every 6 months anyway, but it just so happened that it was time, so I had a very good picture of our financial situation.

Amy: I didn't know that. Wow. Wow.

Whitney: So little things like that, and I've talked to other people that have had crises like that, and they also were given little moments. Now, you don't know

Amy: No, of course not.

Whitney: until afterwards, a lot of the time.

Amy: And you don't want to be like, "Something bad's going to happen," you know what I mean?

Whitney: But But the reason she she knew to yell out, "Why are you doing this to me? You don't even know me," she had watched, there's a show called Hacks, and I I've watched a little bit, I haven't watched the whole seasons or anything, but somebody said that on the show like 2 days before, so she had that in her head, and that is literally what changed She could not outrun him, and she could not over- physically overpower him.

Amy: Yeah, yeah. Wow. Overpower him, no way. Yeah, no.

Whitney: And she had tried to hit him over the head, and that wasn't working, and just she had this reaction of just, "Why are you doing this to me, you don't even know me?" and everything changed. Crazy. So, this is a PSA for all of us. You know,

Amy: Oh, my gosh.

Whitney: unfortunately, you can't ever get too comfortable in your situations. Like, you know, especially women, we have to be diligent about walking to the car, and, you know, I'm always like head on a swivel, I got my car keys in my, you know, my hand. But the truth is, my daughter didn't have time to reach for anything, even if she'd had pepper spray or something. There was no time. So, she had to rely on her head.

Amy: Right. Same. He came behind her, too.

Whitney: Yeah. And and the instant that that that weird feeling that she got,

Amy: Yeah.

Whitney: it There wasn't enough time to really do anything with that either, except for maybe it just heightened her adrenaline, so she was ready to to go, but

Amy: Oh, my god. How is she doing?

Whitney: crazy. She's doing really well. Again, a blessing. She had a therapy session already set up for that day later on in the day. I wasn't there, but my mom and my in-laws and my sister, they all met her My mom I I reached out to my mom while I'm on the phone with Sydney, I tell my mom her location,

Amy: Mm-hmm.

Whitney: so my mom immediately goes out there. So she was very supported, and then had the therapy right away, but I also think she wasn't when she replays the story, she was empowered.

Amy: That's amazing.

Whitney: She She changed the dynamic, and I think that makes her feel a little better, but there's definitely trauma. She's had some nightmares and, you know.

Amy: She should. She should. Oh, I can only imagine that.

Whitney: So once my eyes heal For those of you who didn't listen to the last episode, I just had eye my eyes done, and it's still day six, but once I get that taken care of, we're going to do like a 6-week self-defense class, you know, and really get some techniques to at least make us feel a little bit more empowered if something like that did happen again.

Amy: That's good. Yeah.

Whitney: And I don't know. I don't know what she I don't know. What we'll learn, I mean, I'm sure there are some techniques where you can overpower a heavier person, but can you overpower them enough to where you can then run from them? I don't know.

Amy: I don't know either.

Whitney: Anyway. Anyway, so

Amy: Oh, my gosh, I'm just It's I Yeah. I know.

Whitney: I know, it was it was very

Amy: I'm like choked up. I'm sorry. It makes me so mad, too. I'm just so angry.

Whitney: Yeah. Like, it is very Yeah, it it's It makes me mad, too, because now, she she loved, she loves walking and hiking, and she was doing it also for health reasons.

Amy: That's how I feel about it. And he's like taking that away.

Whitney: And he's taken it away. But I told her, "He hasn't taken away. We're changing the way we do it, but he has not taken it from you. If all he has done is is given you some insight into how we need to do it differently."

Amy: He hasn't. Yeah. Okay. That's a that's good. That's a really good shift.

Whitney: Yeah, but it it is heartbreaking.

Amy: Thank you for sharing.

Whitney: And share it with your daughters, and share it with everybody, because it's

Amy: Yeah.

Whitney: Yeah, it could happen to any of us.

Amy: I know.

Whitney: Anyway, all right.

Amy: All right.

Whitney: So that's why I didn't really want to bring it up, cuz now our episode today is about fun!

Amy: Our episode's about fun, okay. Great.

Whitney: Our episode is about fun, and let's just shake all that off, because, again, we don't want anyone to take away our joy in this world, and we are allowed to have fun, we want to have fun, and I think in midlife, especially,

Amy: Let's do it. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Whitney: this is a great opportunity for us. This this time in our lives, we are shifting, and we can have more time for fun,

Amy: I love it. I think we forget that.

Whitney: you know? We do. And we are moving in to that second curve that we've talked about in earlier episodes, where we don't have to be the best at everything and proving ourselves. We don't have to be the youngest. We get to have our experiences and slow the fuck down,

Amy: Yeah. Yes!

Whitney: and use our our experiences now. We We have more time.

Amy: Yeah.

Whitney: Our child Many of us, our children are leaving the nest,

Amy: Yeah.

Whitney: you know. Our our careers are changing, or maybe we have the financial security to slow down. And even if none of this is true for you, we still need to interject fun. Play is very important. We knew it was important when we were little, like little children. They say play is very important for how to learn, how to socialize in this world, how to handle stress. That's all still true.

Amy: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Whitney: And it ki- it keeps you youthful, you know? It really does, and it was funny because, so the reason I came up with this was, first of all, I made a decision to do something fun for myself, and I went on an e-bike tour through back roads,

Amy: Yes! So cool.

Whitney: and it was a 7-day, I think it was 7 days, of biking through Provence, which are a little It's an area of France, and I normally would say no to that stuff, you know. But I had the time, and it was a friend that was planning it, so I didn't all I had to do was say yes and write the check. That was pretty much

Amy: I want to do that. So cool. Nice.

Whitney: all I had to do and then show up. And it was so fun. The whole group was our group,

Amy: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Whitney: so I didn't know everyone. We all knew the person that had, you know, created the the program or whatever, but I brought a friend, my cousin, but I didn't really know the rest of the group, so it was fun to get to know new people.

Amy: Okay. Yeah.

Whitney: Every morning you got up and you got on your bike. They did a whole like preview. They showed you what the the route was going to be. You get to choose. It's not Look, I don't ride bikes, I'm not a biker, I didn't train for this, and then I got there, and I was like I asked my friend Cathy who set up the whole trip, and I was like, "Did you train for this?" And she was like, "Would you be mad if I said I did?" And I was like, "Yeah, I will be, cuz you didn't tell me to train! You told me nothing!" But it's e-bikes,

Amy: No. Yeah, I love an e-bike.

Whitney: which you think will mean that you don't have to work at all, but that would be a motorcycle.

Amy: Are you serious? You had to work?

Whitney: An e-bike, you still have to pedal and do some work. So, I definitely got a work out, but it wasn't impossible. It actually was just enough to make me feel proud of myself.

Amy: It wasn't as Okay, good.

Whitney: And the way bike roads or Backroads works is, you got to choose. You can do a short They call it regular, cuz they don't want you to feel bad, but it was really the short route. You can do the regular route, or a long route. It was something that I would have never been able to do in any other time in my life. Midlife is exactly when I would have been able to do this. And then it was

Amy: Cuz was it like a week?

Whitney: Yes, it was a week-long bike tour

Amy: That's so cool.

Whitney: with, you know, people that I did not know, so I got to know this cool group. I got to be in It hit all the buttons, right? It's like, community, social, outdoors, workout, you know. I I played fun music, and and you feel really proud of yourself, also, because every day you're doing something that my body was not used to doing.

Amy: I love that. Yeah, I want to do it. Mm-hmm. Yes. Yeah.

Whitney: And there were other people in the group who were very stressed, that almost canceled, didn't come,

Amy: Really? Wow.

Whitney: and they said Because they were so much It's hard when you don't have the freedom that I have right now. You know, she actually had small children, still, but she made the effort to still come, and she said it was the best thing she ever did. She said, "Every day, when I got on that bike, I could just feel the stress melting away."

Amy: Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Oh, no. Ooh.

Whitney: And it's fun, and it's about play, and what was crazy is, after this trip, I extended my stay, and I went to Spain, and I met up with our good friend, Addie Broyles.

Amy: I saw that.

Whitney: She has recently moved to Spain, her whole family to Spain, talk about taking a jump and a risk, and just letting like living life in the moment. And I mean, don't get me wrong, she made plans ahead of time, it wasn't like she was just like, "Pack your bags, we're leaving."

Amy: Yeah. That's so cool.

Whitney: But she she decided to do something different in her life and follow her gut, because she had been pulled She'd been to Spain several times and did a study abroad over there, I think, and she was pulled back,

Amy: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Whitney: and her husband's there, and Frank is there, and her youngest son, her oldest son is staying. But then when I got and I met her, and we were talking about this idea of fun and play, and enjoying your life, she pulled out this zine, she calls them zines, she has a Substack account called The Invisible Thread, and she gave me the latest zine, it's so cute, and it's all about play, and having fun, and you can see in her work

Amy: And her husband And her husband Frank, or Frank Nice. Look at that! Wow. Addie Broyles, yes!

Whitney: right here, she's having fun.

Amy: I love Addie. Nice.

Whitney: And she's not I think the the key to having fun is it's not an activity to succeed or have an outcome, it's just about doing it for the joy of it. There's no goal except for to enjoy it, you know?

Amy: Love it. Way to go, Addie.

Whitney: I know. If you want She used to be the food editor here at the Austin American-Statesman in town, so, she was amazing, and wow. Yes. And she's just so insightful, and she's younger than us, she's not quite in midlife yet, but she has lived a lot of life,

Amy: Yeah, she has.

Whitney: and she has some incredible insights, so I would definitely tell you to, if you're if you have Substack and you understand it, go follow her, The Invisible Threads.

Amy: I'll try to find a link. I'll try to put it in the show notes. Okay, yeah, do.

Whitney: But it just, again, I was getting these messages about play and having fun, and I thought, we need to remind our listeners to do that, you know? And let me give you some types of play, cuz if you're like, "Whitney, I don't even know how to play anymore," well, let me tell you. Dancing around your kitchen, right? Just doing something improv movement in your kitchen. And I I always have music on. You might If you've got your overloads, sensory stuff

Amy: Yeah! Cool. Right. Yeah. I like music on, though. Justin does it all the time. Justin almost always does, and sometimes I'm like, "Please, can you turn it off? I'm trying to get ready and think."

Whitney: Yeah, yeah, exactly, but just having

Amy: That sounds old and unplayful.

Whitney: One of my friends, they have a happy hour every day at 5:00, and they've set the Alexa to just start playing their their fun playlist at 5:00 p.m. I thought that was su- such an easy way to just bring some joy into your regular day. Also, just play a sport. Like, a lot of people are picking up pickleball. Addie talks about in the zine how she's got a group of friends that are playing basketball

Amy: I love that! I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

Whitney: for fun.

Amy: Women?

Whitney: Yeah, women!

Amy: Nice.

Whitney: Yeah, women play basketball, go figure. And it's just a way to get out and get some energy, have some fun, take your mind off things, get physical. Another way you can play is creative and expressive play through doodling. I doodle a lot. Cooking without a recipe. I don't cook, and it would be dangerous without a recipe.

Amy: Go basketball! I love that. I cook without a recipe.

Whitney: But that's that's a form of play, cuz you're just like, "Let's see what happens."

Amy: Yeah. Yeah.

Whitney: And I have I have colors and colored pencils, and they're out in my house, and I'll like just doodle or draw, like I'm a terrible I'm artistic in my mind,

Amy: That just made me remember my dream. My dream, I was coloring with colored pencils. That's weird.

Whitney: Just last night?

Amy: Yeah. That's really weird. Yeah.

Whitney: It's not weird, it's just like what I said before, it's life setting up little like little moments, and like reminders.

Amy: Oh. I like that. Maybe I'm supposed to do that.

Whitney: Yes! I also love puzzles.

Amy: Me too. I love puzzles. I love puzzles.

Whitney: I have a ton of puzzles. My My kids bought me one of those puzzle like holders, so that it Yeah! it turns and stuff, and you can carry it around. And then I love board games and cards.

Amy: Yeah. I need one of those. That's cool. Me too.

Whitney: So when we were on this trip, my cousin and I, when we were young, we would play cards like Crazy Eights and stuff, and so we brought cards with us, and we would play at night. We played Spit, and Hell, and Crazy Eights.

Amy: Yeah. Love it.

Whitney: And it was so fun. And it's just that's all it is, is just fun, there's no other reason for it.

Amy: Yeah. Yeah.

Whitney: And I think we need to do that more in our regular lives, so I'm I'm challenging everyone.

Amy: I'm I'm really lucky. I'm really lucky cuz I have a partner that is constantly doing that. Like he's Yeah, in uh he's

Whitney: Just playing. Well, he bought a motor home, that was

Amy: He uh That's a playful thing. I'm sorry. A bus, a Prevost bus. A big ol' bus. Uh yeah, private coach. Tour bus, yeah. Tour bus. He's very particular about what it's called. But yeah, he's like very playful, and I think it's partly his sobriety. He's like determined to have a good time, and sober, and that it's like so nice. And plus he's younger, you know, he's just younger, he's got this mentality, and it's good for him.

Whitney: But sometimes, in my 30s, I wasn't thinking about playing, I was

Amy: That's true.

Whitney: grinding and had kids and was I was very heavy, and and I think that's what's so great and why people when they get grandchildren are so excited, because they're at a different age where they can fully understand how special it is, and you can be in that child you know, mind. But we can have it before our grandkids get here, you know. And I I remember, one of the things that Hunter and I did that was so fun, we would play tag.

Amy: Yeah. Yeah. I like that. I like that. Yes.

Whitney: Just in the house, like he would just come by and like you just knew when it was starting. He'd just come by and like push me, and he'd start running, and then I would have to run and grab him, and it was just like this back-and-forth tag.

Amy: That's so cute.

Whitney: And it only lasted like 10 minutes, and we would be crying laughing. It was so fun, and just the thought of like, you know, you're around the kitchen island, you're like, "I'm going to get him. Is he going to get me?" It's just so fun!

Amy: Really? Oh. That's so cute.

Whitney: Or if you're walking and you pass a playground, jump on the swing for a minute. Your body will remember

Amy: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Whitney: what it feels like, and it's just an automatic release.

Amy: I love that.

Whitney: So that's what I wanted to encourage everyone to do, and share it with us. Tell us how you're playing in your life, or if you weren't playing, tell us what you're going to do now that you've heard this episode, because we can't forget that's just as important

Amy: Yeah.

Whitney: as the work.

Amy: It is. I mean, and and you can make the work fun and playful, you know what I mean? Like, you really can

Whitney: Yeah. Yeah. Take your notes in colored pencils.

Amy: have a good time, even at the gym, you know what I mean? Like, and and laugh, and and just make life It's a habit. I think like it can build into a habit where you're like making things more fun and playful, and like I told Justin the other day cuz like with him getting ready for a trip is not fun. And I was like, it's not I don't know that I want to participate in this anymore because you're It's not it's not fun, and so he is making a conscious effort to make that more fun, and it's like It's great, you know, like anything that you're doing that you notice yourself being serious about or whatever, like inject some fun into it. Yeah, and like

Whitney: Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. It's too stressful. Yeah. Oh, that's good! Levity.

Amy: like I saw this this thing today, and this guy was like, "I'm renaming meetings." Like the the the meetings that he's having like, and setting up on his calendar, "I'm renaming renaming them like YouTube videos." And he was And he was renaming them, and they were so funny because Like, he would say like, "Urgent, trying to get Whitney and Sydney on the same page in 30 minutes. Let's see what happens." And like so he was renaming all of these things as if they were YouTube videos. Like, long-form, full conversation with blah, blah, blah, and like and like making it intense, and like

Whitney: Yeah. Like what? What do you mean? Oh right, right. Oh, that's funny. Yeah. Yeah. Make it kind of Yeah! bring everybody laugh a little bit. I remember

Amy: And it was just silly. Yeah, and so like, can you rename things that you're already doing just like a YouTube video, or just whatever just to make people laugh and bring that spirit, like.

Whitney: Yes, you just reminded me, I was my my kids' fourth-grade room parent, and I would have to send out emails every week to tell the parents what was happening and what to do, and like things like, sign up for playground duty, you know, things like that, and I started sending the emails under a music theme. So the whole email, I would take a song, and then use those songs like throughout the email, like you know.

Amy: Like, what? And this was before AI. Way to go!

Whitney: Oh, I Yeah, let me let me see if I can I'll pull some up. Hold on. If I can If I can I think I can.

Amy: I love that! I think that's the thing, like if you can just find ways to I don't know, just make life a little more

Whitney: Yeah.

Amy: enchanting, so like Yeah, it's that whimsy. I think that's been what's what's been trending, too, is like this whimsical, like making things more whimsical, it's the same thing. Whimsical is the same idea as playful because it's just for the sake of nothing, but like haha!

Whitney: Something. Yes. Yes. Yeah.

Amy: Pleasing, you know, and like lifting your spirit almost or something.

Whitney: Well, yeah. And it's fun, like I looked forward to writing these emails to the parents just as much as they started looking forward to getting them,

Amy: Like what's what's an example?

Whitney: you know. So like one I just pulled up, the title is, "Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really want to see me cry?" And then it's like, "Dear fourth grade family." And then I'm singing it in my head. It's the It's Boy George. It's like, "It's a crime to beg you for your time." We still need volunteers, traffic duty June 4th and 5th. 4B needs another literary lounge snack, personal. "Are you a Boy George fan? Well, how about Guns N' Roses? Welcome to the jungle, we got fun and games. We got everything you want, but honey, we need the names. You're the people that we find to fill the volunteer needs. If you've got the time, honey, we say thanks and please, in the jungle." Or we're begging on our nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nees.

Amy: Boy George, yeah. I love this! What kind of a response did you get?

Whitney: Oh, people loved it. They They They looked forward to it, I'm sure. Oh yeah, they cracked up. I mean, you know, I was so proud of myself that I I mean, obviously, I've saved them.

Amy: That's great! And that gives you like a boost, cuz you're like, "Well, that was fun, and I I love that." Good job!

Whitney: Yeah. Yeah. Well, honestly, about 15 years ago, when Oprah, I may have told you this, Oprah started her own network, the OWN network, she had a contest where people who

Amy: Yeah, you did tell me.

Whitney: Yeah, and I submitted the Fun for Your Life. That was my talk show, Fun for Your Life, and how to put fun in everyday stuff. Yeah, like when you've got your little kids, you know,

Amy: Yeah. That's cute. That's a cute name.

Whitney: like taking them to the grocery store, and you're put why push the cart? Jump on the cart and ride it, you know, little things like that, or

Amy: Right, exactly.

Whitney: color your bath water with colored tablets or, you know, walk on the on the curb instead of on the street, like like you're on a balance beam. Just stupid stuff,

Amy: Yeah.

Whitney: but it puts you in a different mindset. It literally lightens your load, so

Amy: Mhm. Yeah. Yeah.

Whitney: I think we need more of that, especially in this day and age, everything's getting so intense.

Amy: We do. I love it.

Whitney: So, put a little more fun. Yes, let's do it, let's play!

Amy: Good advice. Fun for your life, that would be a good Instagram handle. That would be a good one.

Whitney: Fun for your life. Yeah, I've got too many.

Amy: Narrow those down, that's not fun.

Whitney: That's right.

Amy: Okay. Well, thank you, Whitney. That was a good idea. I love it. I love it, and I love when we do stuff like that, and it's just good reminders of being happy and playful and fun and

Whitney: Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of ways to create an anything but mid life. Some of it is supplements, and some of it is silly That's right. silly fun.

Amy: That's right. Sometime Yeah, silly fun is crucial. You're going to need less supplements if you do that. That's true. I think that's true. I do, too. I do, too, but ultimately, of course, do what you want. Well, hold on, before we say that, though,

Whitney: That's right.

Amy: I want to just shout out our new website. It looks amazing. Anythingbutmid.com. It's got all our show notes on there and everything on there. I'm just If you're interested, if you have If you need a website like this, and you have a podcast or something like that, it's mainly for podcasters, someone did this for us, and created it in a matter of days, and it they're offering this as a service, so I'm going to put that in the show notes, Nick Gray News. Yeah, Nick at nickgraynews.com, and I'll put that in the show notes so or you can reach out to us and I'll let you know, but highly recommended cuz now ChatGPT can search all our transcripts, so thank you to them, and it is beautiful, so it'll be in the show notes. We're so excited.

Whitney: Oh, yes! It is poppin'. Oh yeah, yeah, you want this guy. And it's fun! It's fun, yeah. It's colorful, and

Amy: It is fun! It is so fun. Yeah, and so, of course, reach out if you have a mid moment or anything to share, we'd love to hear from you. What did I forget? Anything?

Whitney: Yay! I think that's it. Share Share your own thoughts, follow us on all the things, and we'll be back next week.

Amy: And, of course, you do what you want.

Whitney: Do what you want.

Announcer: Please follow and subscribe to Anything But Mid anywhere you get your podcast. Email us your mid-moment at anythingbutmidpodcast@gmail.com, and remember, we do what we want.