Happiness: The Second Curve, Pt 1 of 5

Anything But Mid is hosted by Amy Edwards and Whitney Stropp. Neither host is a doctor and nothing here is medical advice. Lightly cleaned for readability.

Amy: I'm Amy.

Whitney: And I'm Whitney, and this may be midlife, but you're anything but mid.

Amy: Let's get going.

Whitney: Let's get going. All right, we talk a lot on this podcast about what you can put into your body, you know, supplements, lasers, Sculptra, you know, all of those things, and it's expensive, and it's all external. So I want to start talking about things that you can do internally right now for free!

Amy: This is what I'm all about.

Whitney: That's what I that's what I I'm all about it. I mean, like I do all these things, but I swear by, will die on the hill, it's the internal work I do that makes the biggest glow and the biggest difference. Yes. Well, the truth is they, you know, whatever you do on the outside doesn't make you happy, necessarily. You have all of that peace and joy and happiness comes from doing things on the inside, and that's really when you're able to create an anything but mid life for yourself. Yes. So I'm going to start a five-part series, Amy.

Amy: Five parts?

Whitney: I think it's five parts, but we'll we'll do it every other week so that we can get in some other things. But I'm going to do a five series part a series five-part five-part series. There's my mid moment.

Amy: Anyway you put it.

Whitney: Five parts on the real science of a deep, meaningful life, how to have a truly anything but mid life, and we're going to go into actions that you can take. And I'm basing all of this off of my great friend, Arthur Brooks, who I've spoken about before. Sometimes I call him Albert. It's not Albert. It's Arthur Brooks. He's a Harvard professor and an author. His entire message is about how to live a life of meaning and purpose, and he writes this article in The Atlantic magazine called How to Build a Life. He's written multiple books. He's the world's leading expert in the science of happiness. And it starts with a fundamental shift, and Amy and I know this, on how you view your own potential. And that, my friends, is free. So we're going to start with the first topic. It's called The Second Curve. Have you heard of it?

Amy: No.

Whitney: All right. So have you ever been in a situation, and I I'm going to say right now, I 100% have, where you walk in the room and you immediately know that you're the old person?

Amy: Yes.

Whitney: Okay. How does that make you feel?

Amy: Remember Remember when we went to Coconut Club that time, and we were both like, we got to go.

Whitney: Oh my gosh, that was forever ago.

Amy: We got to I felt like somebody's grandma in here.

Whitney: Yeah, exactly. I notice it in social situations where I'll walk in the room, and back in the day, heads would turn. You know? Back in the day, people would be like, "Who's that cute red-headed girl?" Or sometimes, "Who's that loud red-headed girl?" But heads would turn. Now I walk in a room, and I notice that no one's noticing.

Amy: Right. Right, right.

Whitney: And it is it is sad to me, but it's because we're comparing our first and second curve. We are not in our 20s anymore. We are not supposed to be in our 20s anymore. We're going to talk about this in a personal way and in a professional way, but the whole point is to stop seeing ourselves on that first curve and start leaning in to the second curve, all right? The first curve Okay. You're confused.

Amy: Well, what is a curve?

Whitney: Well, I'm going to tell you right now. Okay, so you know on a graph when you see the curve, and then you see another curve underneath it? It's like you're on this you're on the first curve, you're trying to stay on this first curve, but really, you're not you're not meeting that curve anymore. You've got to jump over to a It's basically just a way to say your requirements need to be different or your perspective needs to be different.

Amy: Okay. Okay.

Whitney: All right. That's just He's calling it a curve. So the first curve is the fluid intelligence, all right? That's something that you have when you're younger. You're fast. You You've got energy. Things come quickly, right? But you have no experience. So you don't know how to solve any problems. What's getting you through is your quickness, your energy, not your experience, right?

Amy: Mhm. Right.

Whitney: So your ability to solve new problems, identify patterns in chaos, and things like that, you you can't do any of that because you can't rely on any of your past experience. You don't need a library of knowledge, though, because you've got your your bravado, your energy, your youthfulness. Yeah, exactly. And that's great in your 20s and your early 30s, but it does naturally decline.

Amy: Youth. Yes. Yeah. Okay.

Whitney: And that is when you stop trying to force it. I still try to force it. Sometimes. Trying to be the quickest, trying to be the one on top of every single thing and not relying on any of my own experience.

Amy: Mhm. Mhm. Yeah.

Whitney: All right. The second curve is what we need to be leaning into in our 40s and 50s. That's called the crystallized intelligence, and it's your library of experience.

Amy: Oh yeah, I'm into that.

Whitney: It's all and and you've talked about this on your social media pages before, Amy, about leaning into how confident you are in your experience and your knowledge. And you don't want to be in your 20s, where you were just a dumbass little girl. Cute, quick,

Amy: Yeah, no.

Whitney: energetic, but no experience. Nothing to back any of that up. So in the second curve, you've got your wisdom, you've got pattern recognition, you understand the big picture view, right? Those are not demotions. We are been promoted. The second curve isn't less than the first curve, it's actually more important.

Amy: Mhm. I love that.

Whitney: So the way I was thinking about it when I was reading this, I was there were lots of metaphors that were coming to mind, but one of them that I really liked was the soldier and the general, because when I all the history books that I read, or the movies that I watch, or whatever, there's these young kids, they're the soldiers. They go out. They're enthusiastic. They're passionate. They're fighting the fight, but they're just the soldiers. They're just the ones given an action, and they do what they're told,

Amy: They're fighting the fight. Yeah.

Whitney: right? That's kind of They don't have any experience in war. They don't know what they're walking into. They just go in full force with their rifle. All right. The general is not out on the battlefield, is not picking up the rifle,

Amy: But has been.

Whitney: but has been in the past, absolutely. That was the first curve. Everyone was a soldier. We all were soldiers.

Amy: Right. Mhm.

Whitney: But it's time to be the general, right? We put down the rifle, and we pick up the map, and we start designating for the soldiers. We become the general, not just in our personal lives, but in our professional life. So I'm going to go through some examples. Yeah. But don't you want to be a general? Like who wants to be the soldier? I want to be the man in charge, the woman in charge.

Amy: Yeah. Oh, I like that. Mhm. Love that. Commanding. Or maybe like wizard.

Whitney: Yeah, the wizard. Yeah. And I mean, again, this is the message that you're always talking about on your social media about leaning into your own power. When you're young, you don't your power is the youthfulness part, but that fades away.

Amy: Right. Right. Mhm.

Whitney: The real power is in your experiences, and those only get better. That's the great news. That never disappears.

Amy: And it's it's so attractive.

Whitney: Oh, that kind of confidence?

Amy: It's hot.

Whitney: 100%.

Amy: So then you could be equally hot. It's just a different measurement or something. It's just a different like, hotness.

Whitney: Yes. Well, let's be honest, confidence can change anyone's appearance. That's why we're into people like Steven Tyler,

Amy: Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Whitney: you know, or all of those rock stars that are actually kind of unattractive, but their confidence makes them so sexy.

Amy: Mhm. Yes.

Whitney: So, yeah, it's not about the cute little baby-fat face with the supple skin. We want that experience. So

Amy: No. Mm-mm. Mhm.

Whitney: the good news is, like I said, experience youthfulness declines. The first curve, it ends. The second curve never does.

Amy: Never does.

Whitney: Because it's experience-based.

Amy: Correct.

Whitney: Right? You never lose your experience.

Amy: It's so good. It's some good news.

Whitney: Yeah. So we're just getting sexier by the year.

Amy: No, you don't. By the minute.

Whitney: And that's that's just on a personal level, but on a professional level, too. The problem is we don't know when to jump over. When to put the rifle down.

Amy: Ah. I'm sure that's a back-and-forth a little bit. Like you're probably like, "Oops. Okay, hold on." You know? Like there's an adjustment, fine-tuningness, or something.

Whitney: Yes, it Right. I mean, look, I think about it with my kids, right? I don't I I'm not putting down the rifle. I'm not becoming the general, or the coach, or the teacher. I'm still trying to do it all,

Amy: Right, right. Mhm.

Whitney: and and that is where you're going to get disheartened, because you can't keep up that pace. So like, for example,

Amy: Yeah. Right.

Whitney: I'm going to admit this, my kids were registering for college classes, and one was in Spain, and one was working and just overwhelmed, and so I was like, "I'll I'll help you." I'm in there trying to navigate By the way, it is not easy. All all of this college stuff isn't like back in the day, where it's just a piece of paper and a pen. There's like multiple websites, and platforms, and

Amy: Oh, you got to log in. Do you have to log in?

Whitney: screens, and Oh, log in a million different ways. And I was it took me

Amy: Oh. Fuck that.

Whitney: forever, because I I didn't have the any any understanding of what I was doing, or in I it wasn't my world, you know? And I could have easily delegated. I didn't have to do it all. I could have said, "Here's here's the courses that I would look into. Boom." Girl, I was rating my professor. I was getting on looking at the different times, looking at how many kids were in the class, going to the syllabus, like you know, it was interesting because I was taking a general view, like, but I was the soldier. Does that make sense? I was I was straddling both curves, and it was freaking exhausting. I didn't have to be the soldier and the general. I could have been the general, set up a little outline, given it to the soldiers, and they'd be done with it. But instead, I tried to be both, and it was

Amy: Why are they better at that, though? Like what

Whitney: horrible.

Amy: That makes me feel old.

Whitney: Their brains are Their brains are more, what's the word, mal- malleable? They're They're stretchy. They're being They can learn Yes, they can learn

Amy: Plasticity. Mhm.

Whitney: new things faster.

Amy: But we can, too. We can. But there's something about that that then I just feel out of touch and old. Like I have to feel like I I don't know. I have to

Whitney: The key is the reason I started feeling old is because I was trying to do it all. If I I had leaned into my second curve as the general.

Amy: Like, understanding, "Oh, this course I get, I can see what that is," you know, like you know.

Whitney: Yeah, I don't I don't need to know the the the the websites and the platforms. My My gift is knowing, "Oh, this class is valuable," or, "Hey, you want to go to Rate My Professors before you go sign up for your classes." The experience, my experience of knowing that a professor can make or break your class, knowing that you need to really think about are you a morning learner or an afternoon learner? Like, those that experience makes me a better general. Make me a better like, I can I But it took me so long because I was trying to navigate all these things that I didn't even need to be a part of. I could have just said, "Make sure to go to Rate My Professors. Make sure to think about what, you know, if you want a morning or afternoon," you know. But I tried to do it all, and it was

Amy: Yeah. Yes.

Whitney: Yeah, it really

Amy: Okay, that makes total sense, and I love that concept of leaning into the knowledge and the wisdom of, like, in your example, the classes and stuff. And, like, I just gave Sydney some advice yesterday, and it came from that place. And I said, "You know, remember," they'd had a fight with their dad, and I was like, "Remember, your dad just had surgery and is on pain pills. Not only that, I think he's in pain. And like, so if you had something going It was like a higher level of understanding,

Whitney: A bigger picture.

Amy: and Sid was like, "Oh, that makes sense," you know? And like, those aren't things that someone 20 years old is going to think of, you know?

Whitney: No. She doesn't have the experience.

Amy: No.

Whitney: She has the energy,

Amy: Right. Right.

Whitney: you know. Like, the kids have the energy to navigate all of those different websites. I don't need to berate myself for not having the energy. I don't need the energy.

Amy: Hmm. Really? You don't? Okay, good.

Whitney: It's not I don't I don't need the energy to go to all those different websites and platforms. I don't have That's not where my my value is. I bring value with the bigger picture, with having you think of, you know, outside of the box or re- remind you of,

Amy: No. Yes.

Whitney: you know, like you said, he's on pain pills or he's in pain. Like, giving you real-world experience that they don't have yet.

Amy: Yeah. Oh, I like it.

Whitney: So the goal is to jump off of that first curve. You don't have to be the fastest anymore. You can be the wisest, and you don't you you don't have to have that speed anymore. You You already You're gonna have to learn to delegate. So I'm gonna I'm gonna step into that.

Amy: It's tough sometimes. Like, I wanted to set up an automation on Meta like a week ago or 2 weeks ago, and so I did delegate it to my assistant. And then she was giving me all these options, and then it felt really fucking complicated, and I was like, "There's got to be something on Meta so people don't leave the platform." Anyway, I figured it out, but it was it was just a weird experience of of somewhere in between that where I was still

Whitney: You have to

Amy: like doing that kind of figuring out, whereas, like, I felt like I had to. So I guess we're still going to run into those moments where we feel like we have to.

Whitney: I guess Yeah, and and it is an awareness. You just have to start thinking, is this am I trying to live on the first curve

Amy: Mmm.

Whitney: or the second curve? For example, going back to the soldier-general thing. Does the general need to know how to clean the gun anymore?

Amy: No.

Whitney: No. And so the soldier can be the fastest one cleaning the gun, he can clean all the guns, every type, and know it all. But the general doesn't need to know that anymore. He doesn't need to do that anymore. He needs to tell you where to point the gun. He needs to show you, you know, I hate to get in the gun thing.

Amy: No, but I get it. I get it.

Whitney: But I mean, you know, that that's what I want people to start thinking about in their lives. Am I still trying to be on the first curve? Promote yourself. You You deserve a promotion.

Amy: Yeah. It's different levels of knowledge and understanding and wisdom. I, just speaking of guns, it reminded me of when I was a spokesperson for Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America,

Whitney: Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Amy: and like I you know, we took a lot of criticism across the board, but there would be people that would be like, "Have you even shot an AR-15? Do you even understand how it works?" And I'd be like,

Whitney: Yeah. It does That has no relevance here.

Amy: "I don't I one million percent don't need to know that." Like, that has no relevance. Like, yeah, it was really a dumb

Whitney: Yeah. Exactly.

Amy: un- like point. Not even a point. It was just a dumb thing to say 'cause I'm like, that's completely different than people dying.

Whitney: Yeah, it's stupid. Yeah. Exactly, that's not information I need to know. What you're bringing to the table is the experience of all the times that it went wrong

Amy: No. Yeah, right.

Whitney: and why it's unnecessary.

Amy: Right. Right. So

Whitney: Um, so back to what you were saying, you know. That that is the hardest part is you're trying to straddle both. You're trying to do both, which is even more exhausting.

Amy: Yeah, yeah, it is.

Whitney: You have to pick your lane.

Amy: And it's tough in a world of technology because it's moving fast and there's a slice of us that feels like, "Oh God, we're left behind," you know, or something like that when we're not.

Whitney: I think you get that you know, when you get into technology that's a little bit I mean, obviously, you've got the latest phone. You're learning, you know, your recording software, and that is confusing. Um, you know, we don't have to berate ourselves because we don't know every little thing about the latest features on the new, trendy tech. I mean, you know how to make a phone call, you know how to edit a podcast. Guess what? Half these kids wouldn't know how to do that.

Amy: That's true, actually.

Whitney: So you have to we have it It all really boils down to comparison,

Amy: Mhm. Oof.

Whitney: which is a self-esteem killer. You cannot compare yourself to 20-year-olds. We're not 20-year-olds.

Amy: Mhm-mm.

Whitney: We've been promoted. We've been promoted.

Amy: I don't want to be. Yeah.

Whitney: That's how you kind of have to think of it.

Amy: I love that. I like thinking of Oh, I just saw this the other day. Maybe you sent me this.

Whitney: What?

Amy: And a woman was like, um, putting a decimal in her age to say it's her upgrade to her next version.

Whitney: Oh, that's hilarious.

Amy: So like, if she turns 45, she's at version 4.5, like upgrade her 4.5. And I was like, "I love that so much."

Whitney: Oh, yeah. Yeah, and it is true. I think this is the hard thing. Society as a whole isn't valuing experience like they should. They value they value youth. But youth is just the the rifleman. Someone needs to guide him, somebody needs to teach him. And if you don't value anyone with experience, they never get that. So we are upgraded. We need to remember that. Um, all right. So I'm going to give you some things to put into practice, professionally and uh personally. All right? So professionally, the way you can start to pivot and get out of the the first curve and into the second curve is a couple of different ways. One,

Amy: Okay. I love tools. I love practical tools. It's great.

Whitney: Here Yeah, we've got to move from the novelty ego into the meaningful and depth. Okay? So Phase 1 Curve 1 has a lot of valuable things in it, but it is more about ego. And you know, curve to second curve is all about meaning and depth, and that's what we're trying to get into. So, if you can just change one curve in one area of your life for the next 2 weeks,

Amy: Mhm. Mhm. Okay.

Whitney: I think that you will see a difference. All right?

Amy: Like what?

Whitney: Well, I'm going to tell you. So you've got personal or professional life. All right? We want to put down the rifle and pick up the map.

Amy: Okay. Yeah.

Whitney: We're promoting ourselves. Upgrade.

Amy: I love maps.

Whitney: Maps are fun.

Amy: Oh, my god, I love maps.

Whitney: All right. Here's one pivot that you could make, a micromanagement pivot, all right? If you're the soldier, you jump in to fix the work, your team submits, it it's faster, you you just are like, "I'll do it myself." You spend the day editing drafts, fixing code, writing the emails. You're doing everything. You're in soldier mode. That is not what a general does. A general delegates.

Amy: Mhm-mm. Mhm.

Whitney: Right? So you have to stop trying to do it all yourself and micromanaging.

Amy: This falls in with that book, Buy Back Your Time by Dan Martell. Have you read that?

Whitney: Oh. No.

Amy: And it really is I mean, it's a little more for business, but it's just what you're talking about. Like, is that faster? Because it's draining your soul, actually, so it's really not what you should be spending your time on is kind of his point. And so,

Whitney: Yeah. It's not efficient. Yeah. Well, it's ego, too, of like, "I can do it all. I I can do it all. I'll just do it myself. I can do it faster. I can do it better." But really, now you're just inundated with a bunch of stuff that is taking up all of your time.

Amy: Right. Right. And you're instilling in the other people a mistrust.

Whitney: You don't believe in them.

Amy: A mistrust, yes, that you don't believe in them.

Whitney: Yeah. It's all about leadership. It's time to be the leader, so you're going to stop doing the work, and you're start building the team that does the work for you, and you guide them, and you teach them.

Amy: Mhm. Yeah. Yeah.

Whitney: So that's one way to get out of uh and get into the second curve and out of the first curve. Stop micromanaging. All right, another pivot would be busywork,

Amy: Mhm. Mhm.

Whitney: right? Lots of busywork. You pride yourself on being the go-to person It's kind of the same. For every quick request, you answer every message instantly, attend every meeting even though you don't need to be in the meeting, you just want your hand in everything, you want to be busy, you want to look important.

Amy: Like what? Fuck that.

Whitney: So learn to say no

Amy: [laughter]

Whitney: or not now to the small stuff so that you can finish the big stuff.

Amy: Oh, fuck no. Yeah. Yeah, no. Oh good, I'm I'm way past that one.

Whitney: Yeah. No. I I don't pride myself on being the go-to person necessarily, but I Well, I guess I do. It's ego, so that's pride. Yeah. Yeah.

Amy: It is.

Whitney: Um, all right. The next pivot could be subject matter expert. What to stop? You keep all your knowledge to yourself. You're the only person who knows how to run the software, manage the vendor, handle the difficult client. You feel safe because you're indispensable. Nobody can do what you can do. You have to stop that. You have to start teaching. You cannot be the only person. I'm guilty of it with my other podcast. I'm the only one that knows how to do the recordings, the editing, um you know, how to how to tell the story, how to get in touch with the client. Like, I don't even think they remember how to an- get on the email anymore. You know? And that's partly on me because I have allowed it to happen. So you stop being the only person.

Amy: There's There's a control thing in there, you know, and like I think you still feel important if you hold on to that control, right? And so I think you're having to figure out where does my importance really come from,

Whitney: Yeah. Right.

Amy: which is what you're saying, right?

Whitney: Exactly. Yes. Well, and I see it even, you know, again I'll use the kids and I see it with my own mom. You Yeah, you feel important if they can't do it without you. But what what service are you I mean, you're you're you're not helping them in the long run. They They need to learn how to do things for themselves. Even something as simple with my kids, I always check them in at the airport. Like they they typically up until recently only have traveled with me. Even when they're away at college, if they're going somewhere, I will do their flight arrangements, and I will check them in.

Amy: Oh, my gosh. Mom!

Whitney: That's terrible! And then I start having anxiety because I'm like, they don't know how to check themselves in. They're starting to feel anxious. They're like, "Just give me the information,"

Amy: [laughter]

Whitney: and and I'll figure it out. That was one great thing about my son being a study abroad, is he was traveling all over. I wasn't around. I didn't know what they were doing, and they had to navigate getting their flights, and checking themselves in, and packing their own bag, and I wasn't there to go, "Did you remember to pack underwear?" You know.

Amy: Right. Amazing. Yeah.

Whitney: So, it's it's actually very freeing, cuz then you can you can have more time to mentor, or teach, or lead, and not be in, you know, in the trenches. dealing with all this stupid stuff. All right. So, personal life, this was interesting. One of the things in the first curve is networking. You're always networking. "How can I meet more people? How can they get me to the next level? How do I, you know, just have a very large even social circle on social media, how many likes?" All of that.

Amy: Yeah, yeah.

Whitney: And so, the second curve is about creating valuable, meaningful relationships. You're not stop networking. As a matter of fact, and I think I've heard this said before, you should only really count on your hand one hand how many good friends you have. Like, if somebody says, "Oh, I've got a ton of great friends," that's not true. You can't actually create those deep, meaningful relationships with more than five people necessarily, you know, that's what I believe. So, you stop networking.

Amy: Yeah. Mhm. Yeah. I think it's like science, there's some science about it, or something like that.

Whitney: Yeah, well, I mean, how can you give your how can you give that much time to that many people?

Amy: Yeah, you can't.

Whitney: You can't. You're spread too thin. So, you could schedule a 1-to-2-hour distraction-free meal with a long-term friend, like pick the five people that you want on your hand. Who are those people? And actually take the time

Amy: Mhm. I love that. Mhm.

Whitney: to create more meaningful relationships. The mastery pivot. So, stop dabbling in a bunch of different hobbies. Choose one. Commit to 30 minutes a week to one not

Amy: Mhm. 30 minutes a week?

Whitney: Yeah, it's not it's not hard. Just 30 minutes a week to one difficult skill you probably would have quit previously cuz it was maybe a little too challenging.

Amy: Okay. Yeah.

Whitney: And there's something with the dopamine. Like, you actually Yes, exactly. You get more out of it if you have to work for it a little bit.

Amy: Yes, slow dopamine. Mhm. Mhm. You really do.

Whitney: Mhm. But I think now it's like, "Oh, I'm going to learn pickleball. Oh, I'm going to take this pottery class. Oh, I'm going to learn an instrument." You know, just pick one. And and when it gets hard, keep keep doing it. And I think you've we've both done that with editing software and stuff, like we were just talking about the new software, and it's so confusing.

Amy: Oh, yeah. I don't know if I'd call it a fun hobby.

Whitney: But don't you feel proud of yourself that you

Amy: Yeah, yeah.

Whitney: you're on your way to mastering it?

Amy: Mhm.

Whitney: The longevity pivot. Oh, okay. So, lots of kids, 20s, 30s, they aren't working out because they want to live a long time. They're working out for the six-ab the six-pack abs, right? We don't need to do that. We're actually looking at the bigger picture. We're not working out so that we I mean, it's it's a benefit to look great in our clothes, but I'm not working out for for abs. I don't need a six-pack.

Amy: Mm-mm.

Whitney: I don't want one, honestly, cuz I don't want to spend that much time in the gym.

Amy: Yeah, it's it's really what you eat, too. It's like That's true.

Whitney: Just switch to mobility, HIIT, health training. You don't have to keep up with the 20-, 30-year-olds. We've got our own game going on.

Amy: Yeah. I don't lift like I used to, even in my 30s, you know, and and it's different now for me, but like just the fact that everything improves when you lift weights, so I'm like that's why I'm doing it. That's why I do it.

Whitney: The longevity game. You do have to. Yeah, I was actually thinking about this this morning because I have not been um consistent with my workouts lately. I've been traveling, but also

Amy: It makes a difference.

Whitney: I've also I'm not enjoying the the the routine. Like, I go into the gym now, and I use this AI machine that's not actually

Amy: Oh, yeah.

Whitney: that great. I mean, they keep like even today, like it it was jamming, and I couldn't finish my set. Like, it wouldn't let me click load to load the the the weights, and I had to just skip it. And I was so frustrated.

Amy: Ugh. You need to go analog, girl.

Whitney: I think so. Well, I remember hearing recently uh from I think, Peter Attia, is that how you say his name? Anyway, he's in trouble, but but he's still has valuable information.

Amy: Yeah, good. Yeah, sure.

Whitney: But he was saying, you know, Yeah, he was saying like you get more from wearing a a rucksack and walking up and down hills with a friend

Amy: Broken clock, right? Yeah.

Whitney: than going into the gym, especially right now. I mean, I'm isolated in the gym. I'm I'm not It's not like I'm doing it with other people. I'm literally it's just me and a machine, and I'm just not motivated to go.

Amy: Mhm. Yeah.

Whitney: So, I was even thinking today maybe I'll get a rucksack.

Amy: I mean, for me, it's all about my playlist. I just I have My playlist is

Whitney: Yeah, I'm not listening to music. Yeah.

Amy: bangin'. And that makes like I've got SOFI TUKKER on there. I've got like stuff that motivates me, and before I know it, I'm like bopping around. And then I'm like excited for my set or whatever, you know, so yeah.

Whitney: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think the other thing is, well, I don't necessarily have to keep up with the trends, like you know, I mean, I I

Amy: What trends?

Whitney: the workout trends, like

Amy: What workout trends?

Whitney: Well, I'm just saying, I don't need Pvolve, or, you know,

Amy: Oh, for fuck's sake! No, you need to Pick up actual weights.

Whitney: Pilates, or whatever. Yeah, whatever the trend is right now, you know. I don't need to be a part of it. I just need to do what excites me, and also gets the job done. Wear my weighted vest,

Amy: Yeah. No.

Whitney: but walking with a friend.

Amy: Yeah, walking with a friend is great. Yeah.

Whitney: That actually is motivating to me, and I end up walking way longer than I would if I were by myself, and it's it's feeding my soul. Anyway, so you can do the longevity pivot. Stop training training for the mirror, and start training for

Amy: Yeah. Yeah. Love that. Yeah.

Whitney: longevity.

Amy: For life, cuz it it benefits your life, yes.

Whitney: Yeah, exactly. And then the last way you can do this in your personal life is the wisdom pivot: stop hoarding your experience.

Amy: Yes. Okay. Give it away.

Whitney: Give it away. Become a mentor. You know, find somebody that that wants to learn from you, and give them your experience. And by the way,

Amy: Yes. Mhm.

Whitney: it can just be through social media.

Amy: Yeah. I'm a big believer in that, that's why I don't charge for podcasts. I mean, of course, Spotify, you have to pay or whatever,

Whitney: Yeah, that's what you're doing. Yeah.

Amy: Yeah. But like I believe in keeping it free. I just I don't have a lot of patience for people that you have to pay for like whatever they're getting. It's like, you know what, you can find everything out there. Just people are giving it away, don't gatekeep. It's just like just tell us already. Like, I don't have the patience for it. And we already are in this world where everybody wants a fucking nickel for everything that you do, every subscription, every Substack, it's like when you track your subscriptions, holy shit, right?

Whitney: Right. Yeah.

Amy: Shelling out $800 a month, and you're just like,

Whitney: Well, it's stressful, too. I feel like actually Well, I'm writing a book right now, and um

Amy: I did not know this.

Whitney: Oh, yeah. Oh, I thought I told you. I'm writing a book. It's a grief book, a little grief book. Um, but I go back and forth on,

Amy: Yes. No. Oh, yes, yes. Yes, I did. Okay, good.

Whitney: like there's a part of me that just wants to give it away, cuz it This is very interesting. If I put a price on it, it almost makes me This this is this is not something that's good, I'm just sharing, I almost feel guilty that my my wisdom isn't enough. Like,

Amy: What do you mean?

Whitney: Well, like putting putting a price on the book and saying, "You need to pay for this," actually fills me with anxiety. But that's a self-esteem thing.

Amy: There's something to work on there.

Whitney: Yeah, there's definitely a self-esteem thing there, but forget that I said all of that, because that's not on track with what we're talking about, but

Amy: No, but

Whitney: if you do mentor someone, or, you know, give your experience, help someone else, it does make you feel really good about yourself. Like, you feel valuable.

Amy: I think what you said is right on track of this, I really do.

Whitney: Putting a price on something does make me feel

Amy: I think though that is

Whitney: stressed.

Amy: leaning into the general the fact that your wisdom and experience can be something that earns you money. So, like where I said give it away, I mean, like you are still talking about every point that is in your book, probably. Right? It's all on your podcast, it's on your social media, it's on this show. So, you are talking about it, but at the same time, it will be condensed into one space. But you know, you this is an opportunity for you to lean into your second curve and say, "You know what? I do have a lot to share, and here it is in one condensed volume that you can buy for $16.99," which is not a huge ask or one-time purchase.

Whitney: Right. Right. Right. Yes. Right. My experience is valuable. Right.

Amy: And so, you know, I was talking about subscriptions, but like I think that that is wonderful, and this is a good way for you to experiment

Whitney: Yeah, I have to lean into the general side of that. Yeah, you're right.

Amy: Yes. You do, you really do, cuz this is your knowledge helping others, and so, you know, you have lived that experience. You're fucking 55 years old, come on!

Whitney: Fucking 55. 5.5.

Amy: Come on! You're you're version 5.5! This is your upgrade! No, this I think that was a great example.

Whitney: No, it's It's a constant struggle. Even knowing, you know, what you and I know, there are definitely moments where we go back to the first curve, or feel less than, but it really does come down to the fact that we are comparing ourselves into it's apples and oranges. The the 20-year-olds are not the 50-year-olds, nor should they be. That wasn't the design in the first place, and we have so much to give and offer. We don't need to be on their curve.

Amy: No. No.

Whitney: So, you're right. I jumped I jumped curves for a minute, and I felt

Amy: Yeah, you did. You did. And now, just remember when you went through that, you didn't have the experience. You would have paid someone like you, you know, for a book. You would have picked up that book at Barnes & Noble

Whitney: a little less than. Yeah. I just bought two books in a heartbeat.

Amy: yesterday. Exactly. Exactly.

Whitney: I'm constantly looking for more wisdom and trying to find people who have experience in things that I'm just now

Amy: Yes. Yes. Mhm.

Whitney: discovering, you know. So, yeah, you're right. You're right. Second curve is where it's at. We don't need to go back to the first curve, we've been there, done that. Now we get to use the the fruits of our labor, and it's experience, and a bigger world view, and leadership.

Amy: Yep. Yeah.

Whitney: Let's be generals.

Amy: Let's be generals. Is that everything?

Whitney: That's it. Yeah.

Amy: I loved it. I loved it. I'm so excited about this series.

Whitney: Let's be generals. And so, Yeah, so this was the first this was the first part. We're going on to the second part in a few weeks, it's called the Happiness Portfolio,

Amy: Ooh.

Whitney: because if your whole it's if your whole life is just one thing, you've got a problem.

Amy: What do you mean?

Whitney: If your whole life is just one thing, like your job, if all you have you have to there there are several parts.

Amy: Oh, yeah. You have to diversify it. Oh.

Whitney: Yes. So, I'm going to give you your portfolio for happiness. Serve it up on a portfolio platter.

Amy: Wonderful. Awesome. Oh, that was really good.

Whitney: So, stay tuned.

Amy: I love this so much. I mean, this is this is what it's about, not not fucking all the shit we talk about, every peptide in the world. I mean, like everything's making promises, and this is where the real juice is.

Whitney: Not fillers, not Botox. Yeah. That's right. Mhm. We're going to juice it up.

Amy: Juice it! I love that.

Whitney: And as always,

Amy: Do what you want. Got this.

Whitney: See ya, generals.

Amy: Bye.

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