Signs

Anything But Mid is hosted by Amy Edwards and Whitney Stropp. Lightly cleaned for readability.

Amy: Are we ready to rollaroonie?

Whitney: Yes. We're ready to rollaroonie. Rollaroonie, everybody!

Amy: I'm Amy.

Whitney: And I'm Whitney. They call it midlife, but we're anything but mid.

Whitney: All right, Amy, you said something to me that I thought was so interesting. You were sharing the story about losing your wedding rings, which apparently was very scary.

Amy: I did. At our wedding, both of us lost our wedding rings. And we sat there like, I go, "Oh my god, mine's fallen off." And he looks down at his finger and he goes, "Mine's gone too." And I was like, "Oh my god."

Whitney: That's hilarious.

Amy: And I go, "Okay, well, let's do our thing that we do. What we do is we say, 'We don't lose things. We don't lose things.'" Which, okay, I don't like saying things in the negative necessarily.

Whitney: Right. "We find things" or "Everything we have, we keep."

Amy: No, I mean, but like, I'm very particular about words and how they're phrased, and I don't like anything negative. But that one, I do say, "We don't lose things." And so that one I kind of, 'cause I think the universe just hears like, "lose things," you know, or something like that.

Whitney: Yes, so it needs to be "We find things" or something.

Amy: But it works! It works. Literally within five minutes, someone walked up to my chair and goes, "Oh my gosh, here's your ring," and it was under my chair. They pull it out, and I was like, "Holy cow." And Justin also, his was like in a room, and he immediately found it.

Whitney: My phone's ringing, sorry. Just hit the down button. There you go.

Amy: So it was really truly, it always works. It is wild. I've used it for years.

Whitney: Yes, and what I love about it, and what I thought we should share with everyone, is how to let the universe, the universe is co-creating with you. And if you don't understand that words and thoughts are actually powerful, then you're creating things in your life that you don't even realize because the universe is always listening. And when I talk about the universe, I am personally thinking of God, that higher power, but some people call it, you know, the light, universe, energy, whatever it is. There is something else bigger than ourselves here. And if you don't want a "mid" life, then you need to tap into this 'cause it's pretty magical.

Amy: It's 100%, and I totally agree. When I say it, I am talking about the oneness of all. And all means all.

Whitney: And the signs are everywhere. So once you can kind of tap into that, it really does make life a lot more fun. So in that instance, you did find your rings immediately. But I remember another time when Justin lost a backpack or somebody stole a backpack, and it had a check in it. Remember that?

Amy: Yeah, we found it in a bush!

Whitney: Yeah, tell that story too, 'cause it's just incredible.

Amy: I can't really remember it, but I do remember that it got stolen out of his car, and there was a big check for a donation or something. I think it was a big check, though, and it was in his backpack. And then, and his laptop, I think, was in there. Everything. I don't know why he left all that in his car, but anyway, it got stolen. And so he started walking in our neighborhood and literally found it in a bush.

Whitney: But he told you it happened, and then I think he came home. I just remember you putting it out there like, either it was "We don't lose things" or "This is coming back to us." Maybe even in gratitude of like, "Thank you for bringing this back," and then lo and behold, it actually happened.

Amy: It did.

Whitney: Those are the crazy, those are the crazy moments. Sometimes it's not as obvious. For me, and maybe it's because I don't tap in all the time, I think you're maybe always tapped in.

Amy: I don't know, maybe.

Whitney: Share your, how did this practice start?

Amy: I really don't remember. I just remember I didn't want to lose things anymore, so I just started playing with it. And I also want to clarify that this is wellness, right? Like, this is a way to foster more wellness in your life.

Whitney: Absolutely.

Amy: And I think that I was on that path anyway of like, how am I going to do this? And so I wanted to connect more and see what happened. So I don't really believe that we're limited to one timeline, you know? There is this possibility of unlimited timelines, so I want to enter the timeline where I find whatever it is. Or where it fell under my chair rather than fell off in the hills of Sedona, you know?

Whitney: Exactly.

Amy: So I think maybe there's something there. Like, who knows? I guess that's my thing.

Whitney: I truly believe that there's something there 'cause after my husband died, I literally went on a spiritual journey of just devouring books and watching workshops and speeches and just, I feel like my eyes kind of were opened, which tends to happen when there's trauma. Everything that's not important falls to the wayside and you're left with a very clear idea of what's important in this world. And one of the things that I wanted to do was figure out, I'm a firm believer, and I know you believe this as well, that there are no coincidences. Things are happening for me, even the things that I look at as the most tragic events. And I'm like, why is this, what am I supposed to learn from this? I did not want my husband's death to be in vain. So I went on this spiritual path and started looking and finding all the magic in the world that now you can use to better your life. Make this the best possible chapter that you've had so far 'cause you're co-creating with this bigger force. So I think it's so interesting and I'm still learning about it. It's hard to be tapped in all the time. For me, anyway, it's exhausting until it really, until it becomes something that you're not even thinking about.

Amy: Yeah, you embody it and you're doing it all the time. And I wrote that down. You say co-creating, but you're also training yourself to constantly seek those signs out, to see the numbers on a license plate, to constantly be looking and tap into that version rather than some lower vibrational thing.

Whitney: Absolutely. Yeah, even on the way over here today...

Amy: Oh, did you have a sign? Did you have a sign?

Whitney: I did. I did!

Amy: What was it?

Whitney: So I'm on the way here and, you know, you just let your mind wander. I wasn't even necessarily paying attention to what I was thinking about when I was driving here, but all of a sudden I kind of tuned in that I was being on the negative like, "Ugh, I'm stressed about this, I've got this, why is this happening?" And then my brain will go to, you know, "Thanks a lot, Hunter," you know, "for leaving me with all this shit," you know?

Amy: Oh, damn.

Whitney: So I'm tuning back into my thoughts and I'm like, oh wow, I need to change that. And at the same time, I changed the radio station and this song came on that is Hunter, like, his sign.

Amy: What is it?

Whitney: Well, it's funny because this particular song he's used as a sign before and...

Amy: What is it? I don't even know.

Whitney: I've been telling the story a lot lately because it was right after he died. I was very upset because, well, obviously, but very upset because he was supposed to be the one handling the club soccer for my middle child because I told him, "I can't put anything else on my plate. I've got three kids, we're totally stressed out and stretched to the max. I don't want to add club soccer," which means tournaments and practices in addition to all the other school soccer and schoolwork and all that. And so my husband was like, "Don't worry, I got it, I'll handle it." Well, then he died.

Amy: Sorry, it's not funny.

Whitney: No, it is. It is. And so the first time that I was taking my son, actually, I was picking my son up from a very late soccer practice and it's dark, I'm on a dark road with like no lights and I'm a terrible driver and I'm just like mad, you know? And so I'm talking to Hunter and I'm just like, "This is so fucking unfair and I am so mad because this was supposed to be your job," and "Too Late to Apologize" by OneRepublic comes on the radio. And I had to laugh because by then I'm very tuned in 'cause I've been reading all these books, so I'm tuned in and Hunter always talks to me through music. And on the way over here, that song came on and I just felt like, you know, again, it was just a reminder. I started crying because it's just, I mean, first of all, 'cause I miss my husband, but second of all because it's just such a reminder that there is something so much bigger than ourselves here that we can tap into and you're never alone. And everything that you're complaining about really, it actually reminded me that none of that stuff that I'm stressed about is important. Like, it's all going to work out, all is well, all will be well. And so that was like a funny sign that I got just today on the way over here.

Amy: Nice.

Whitney: Not knowing that we were even going to talk about signs when I was on my way over here, but...

Amy: That is true, we did not. And I, have you ever seen that meme? It's like, "I need a sign," and then it's like, "I need a signier sign." You know? 'Cause so many times we're like, "Uh, is that the sign?" and you have doubts and all that. And so I just feel like it's that training to really like look for it.

Whitney: Right. Well, you've heard that story, it's like a parable, where a man is, there's flooding and a man is on top of his roof of his house and a boat comes by. And he's praying, "God help me, God help me," and a boat comes by and they're like, "Hey, do you want to get in the boat?" and he's like, "No, God's going to save me." And so the boat leaves and then another thing happens and then a helicopter comes by and he doesn't accept any of them, and so he dies. And he gets up there and he's like, "God, I asked you to help me," and God's like, "What do you want? I sent a canoe, a boat, a helicopter, like, you refused." So you definitely have to be in an awareness to really be open to what life is trying to push you towards. I always say, you know, especially in midlife, I think, and I'm having this happen to me right now, like, "What's my role now?" Like, my husband's dead so I'm nobody's wife. My children are all gone so I'm nobody, I'm still a mother, but it's not the same.

Amy: No, you're not needed in the same way.

Whitney: No, I don't have a set schedule where I'm in charge of all these little human beings. And so it really was filling me with this feeling of like, who am I now? Who am I going to be? And which can be very exciting because I get to decide, but it's also a little scary.

Amy: Well, especially when you've been doing those things and in a role of, name the role, for the last most of your life.

Whitney: Exactly, literal decades.

Amy: Yes.

Whitney: And so that's really, this is a perfect time in your life to really sit down and get with the universe to create what it is that you want, "What do I want to be next?" And what's funny is I've been having that thought for the past several months and you just, again, no coincidences, but you're like, "Let's get together, go on a walk," and we're talking and you start talking about this idea for a new podcast and I'm looking for something, you know?

Amy: No, I was basically like, "Do you want to start a podcast?" and you go "Yes!" and I was like, "She means it!"

Whitney: Yeah, it was literally, and that was because I had been thinking about, "What's next for me? What am I going to do? How am I going to fill my time? What is it that's important to me? I want to inspire, I want to share, I want to connect." And then life just put this in front of me. And I could have said no, because it is scary when you're trying something new. It's like, "Well, do I really have the time to dedicate? I don't want to let anybody down. I don't want it to hurt our friendship if we're in a business together." But this is the perfect time to say yes.

Amy: I was just like, "I want someone funny to talk to on a podcast." That was literally it, and that's my friend, and I was like, "Oh, you're just so perfect."

Whitney: Yeah. But it's amazing when you're tuned in how you'll get the answers. So let's give some, do you have some tips on how to tap into that and how to find the answers? I know for me it's writing.

Amy: Is it? Writing down?

Whitney: Journaling. Yeah.

Amy: For me, I was going to say saying it out loud. That's a bigger one for me. But I remember one of the first times it really happened with someone who'd passed. My mom had passed away, and I was reading a story about a woman that was trying to connect with her mother from beyond the grave or whatever, and she had asked for a white feather as the symbol after her mom had passed. And I was like, I remember taking my dog for a walk right afterward and walking outside and thinking, "Gosh, a white feather, that's so specific. I like that." And as I thought that, I literally looked down and there was a white feather at my feet. And I was like, "Whoa." And so that became my symbol for my mom. So I've taught my kids that, when you see a white feather. And then I remember once I was driving down the highway and I was in a lot of traffic. And I had had this bra, I'm so gross, I do not wash my bra as much, I'll wear them over and over.

Whitney: I do as well, when I wear a bra.

Amy: Yeah. This was like a plain Victoria's Secret just normal bra. And it had been like itching me in the same spot over my heart for like, I don't know how long. It was so fucking annoying. And I was driving on I-35, I can even remember I was near Pflugerville, I remember, and my mom had passed away or whatever, and I just could not figure out what was itching. I thought it was like, "Is it a piece of plastic, thread, whatever?" So finally I'm sitting in traffic and I was like, "I'm going to figure this out right now." And I remember pulling my bra and finding that spot and finally picking at it and pulling it out and it was a freaking white feather over my heart, like kind of right on that spot. And I pulled it out and I just, the shock that it was a feather, you know? And I was like, it just made me pause and breathe, and I was like, "That's so special. She's right here over my heart all the time, even stuck in traffic when I forget." So I've taught, I have it tattooed on me, well it's not white but, you know. She actually did color in some white on there just to kind of brighten it up, but I do have it on my wrist and it just, it's a sign that's recurring for me that I just try to train myself for and train my kids for. And anyway, I got off topic, sorry. But for me it was saying it out loud and just keeping it in mind. But I do believe that if you need a sign, I think the louder you can ask, the better. So say it out loud for sure.

Whitney: Yeah, it's about communication. It's just like with any relationship, you have to have communication.

Amy: Oh, I like that.

Whitney: Yeah, so you're building a relationship with God, with the universe, with life, and you have to communicate what you want. What's crazy is that you are already, without knowing it, with your thoughts and your words when you're not aware. Like saying, you know, if you say something in the negative, "I don't want this to happen, I don't want this to happen," the universe just hears "this happens, this happens." So then you're creating it. It's crazy.

Amy: No, one of my favorite examples like that: flip that around to use sarcasm. So I love sarcasm as a manifestation tool because you don't have to believe it, and then you're putting laughter into it.

Whitney: Oh!

Amy: So when I was starting my "Amy Edwards Show," I remember telling some people, "Oh, I'm starting this podcast," and people were, it was right when Rogan moved here, and they were like, "Oh, you'll have to meet Joe Rogan." And I was like, so many people said it that I was like, "I'm 100% meeting Joe Rogan." Yeah! And I was like, "Oh, I'm sure I'm just going to bump right into Joe Rogan," you know? Like, I started laughing about it and I was like, "Sure, yeah, I'll get right on that." And literally within a few months, I'd say I started the podcast in October, by December I had met Rogan twice. And I mean, yes it was because my partner...

Whitney: No, no, no! Don't put anything on it. You didn't know that your man was great friends with Joe Rogan. You didn't! You had no idea.

Amy: And it made me laugh so hard because I was like, "Holy shit, my sarcasm manifested it right away." So even if you just don't believe it, I say say it out loud with sarcasm. Like, "Our podcast is going to be an instant hit."

Whitney: Yeah, it's going to be a huge hit.

Amy: "Oh, I'm sure it's just going to be an instant, absolutely! It's going to take right off." So like, you know, just that kind of stuff. "Joe Rogan's going to be on our podcast!"

Whitney: (laughs) And then you're infusing it with laughter too, which I think is a higher vibration. Boom! High vibration. We're high-vibing. So I'm a big fan of sarcasm and also questions like, "Wow, I mean, how," like, I like silly questions and saying them out loud to yourself while you're like making coffee or doing cooking or whatever and you start going like, "Why is this so successful? Why is my business taking off? Why am I seeing signs all the time for my own awesomeness?" or whatever it is. Well, even, do you do that?

Amy: I don't do that, but I'm going to start doing that. Why haven't I been doing that? I'm going to start doing that. Everything has power: your words, your thoughts, vision, and I know you know vision boards and you know, do stuff like that. That gets more into manifesting though, rather than like signs, but it's kind of...

Whitney: But it's still connected. It's co-creating with your life to, yeah. And if you want a sign, you know, yeah, I still think I'm going to stick with my visualization of stuff as well. You imagine seeing a sign. I think that so many times people, and as a widow and I talk to a lot of other widows and people who are grieving, and I've had a lot, I can share a lot of blessings that have happened to me before Hunter died and after Hunter died that bring me comfort now. Like I feel like, oh, this was part of the plan and his soul is with me. And I just, there's a lot of comfort. But for a lot of the widows and grievers that I speak with, they don't feel like they get any of that.

Amy: Really?

Whitney: Yeah, and my reaction to that is: everybody has the ability. There's blessings all around, but you have to get to a place where you're open to it. You can't, if you're always denying it... I mean like, I was just talking with a friend the other day and she goes, "Yeah, I asked for, a friend of mine passed away and I would think about them and, you know, feel like maybe they were trying to get to me, but I just didn't believe it. I dismissed it, dismissed it, dismissed it." And finally one day she goes, "Okay, you're going to have to try harder. If you want this to work, you're going to have to try harder." She says, "Whitney, I pulled into a parking lot and there, on the car in front of me, was this person's name stretched out on the license plate with an exclamation point!"

Amy: Wow!

Whitney: Like, I just, I'll give one more, and I know this is all about dead people, but the signs are signs. But I have a lot of dead people experiences.

Amy: We're getting older, midlife.

Whitney: (laughs) Midlife. Um, a friend of mine, her daughter was tragically killed about ten years ago. I hooked up with her like two years after it happened, right? Not knowing really the story or anything about her daughter because we had been friends prior to children. I show up, we're talking, and she's telling me that her daughter is constantly communicating with her through music and through the color blue. I look down: I'm wearing blue nail polish and blue tennis shoes that day when I go to meet her. Okay, that was like eight years ago. Totally forgot about it 'cause I can't remember what I had for breakfast, much less what happened eight years ago. So then I just recently got with her, she was on a podcast with me and we were sharing her story of losing her daughter and talking about the color blue, and my co-host points down and she goes, "Look at your pants, Whitney." I was wearing blue pants that had been in my closet for four months with the tag on, and that day I thought, "I'm just going to put these on. Today's the day." Not thinking that, I mean, the podcast is from the waist up, nobody can see my pants. I freaked out. It was crazy.

Amy: Right.

Whitney: So it's happening out there. Things, you know, you can definitely talk with the universe about what you want in your life. I was just talking to the universe about creating a deeper connection and learning how to pray, and I was like, "I don't know what to say." And then came into my mind the Lord's Prayer, right? 'Cause when I was a kid we would say the Lord's Prayer in my Presbyterian church. But then I became a Baptist, so I never said it again.

Amy: Baptists don't say that?

Whitney: They don't say that. But Presbyterians, they say it sometimes, maybe on special occasions. Don't come at me, Baptists, I can't remember exactly. But the Lord's Prayer, and so I was like, "Okay, I'm going to say the Lord's Prayer." The next day I'm in my car and I'm listening to this book on tape, that's what we say in midlife, book on tape, but it's an Audible or whatever, and the woman is talking about manifesting and what you want, and she said the Lord's Prayer! And I was like, that's, she was just using that as a quick way to pray and it has everything that you need in there: "protect me, forgive me, bring me what your will is," all of that. And I thought it was so crazy 'cause I hadn't thought of the Lord's Prayer in forever. I get that thought, and then the next day it's given to me again.

Amy: Did you start doing it?

Whitney: Yeah, I do, I did it on the way over here. I do it all the time now.

Amy: Really? Interesting.

Whitney: In the middle of the night when I can't sleep, which is...

Amy: Do you make it your own at all, or do you just sort of get on autopilot?

Whitney: That's so funny. So this morning when I was on my back patio saying the Lord's Prayer, I said it the right way the first time, and then the next time I did put it in my own words.

Amy: I mean, go with it. I say go with it.

Whitney: Yeah! But I just thought that was so crazy. So things that are coming into your head, especially when it's coming multiple times, that is a sign from the universe. 100%.

Amy: I agree with that completely. And when you think of someone, like if you think of a person, if they pop in your head, I mean how many times do they pop in your head and then they call you or whatever? But it is a sign that maybe, did you hear what I said?

Whitney: What'd you say?

Amy: "Die."

Whitney: Oh no, no! And you're like "call you" and I'm like "die." I have a little death obsession, you guys.

Amy: (laughs) No, I just think like if they pop in your head, that means reach out. They could be going through a hard time or something like that.

Whitney: Or they're meant to give you a message of some sort. I have that happen all the time. I love that.

Amy: Yeah. So, all right, what are we missing in talking to the universe? I mean, I think prayer is interesting to explore too because all prayer is is really like connection and, you know, I don't think it has to be in words necessarily. You just imagine needing a sign or fill yourself with this feeling of whatever it is. I read this book like "How to Pray" back before my, this was in my first marriage, before my mom died, and I used to do it all the time. And I got real dogmatic about it. I was like, "Oh you have to do this and you have to do this and you have to do this," and I was like, which is typical for me. I get all into this and then I'm like, "This is stupid. This is, who made these rules?" And so I don't believe in all those rules. And it was weird because I really followed that like to the letter for a long time. My mom died and I stopped cold. I was completely not called to it anymore. And I was like, "That's weird." I don't know if she had a hand, I believe she had a hand in that just sort of like, "You don't need all this. Let that go." And it was really wild 'cause she was really religious. So like, that surprised me. And I've never prayed the same since, and I've never felt the same way about religion and God and spirituality. It's very personal to me now.

Whitney: Well, I think, yeah, of course it's going to be personal. I mean, everybody's signs are going to be different. But if you want it to be a white feather, you could totally have it be a white feather. But also, like when you're grappling with something, like me when I was like, "What am I going to do now that I'm this free bird and I need purpose?" and things started coming to me and I could have said no, "I don't have time" or "no I'm too scared," but instead I said yes. A friend out of the blue that has a podcast where she talks to entrepreneurs and stuff, she asked me to be on there. Who knows what that will bring me? But I said yes, even though I was nervous to do it 'cause I felt like I didn't match up, you know? I said yes, we go on this, I said yes to a walk, and then I go on the walk, and then I said yes to this podcast. You know, especially, and by the way, if you don't get it the first time, it's going to, the message is going to keep coming back to you. I truly do believe that.

Amy: But saying yes is that process of opening up.

Whitney: Yeah, absolutely. And then let go of the outcome. That's the hardest part.

Amy: Oh my god, seriously.

Whitney: Oh dude, that is so hard. I know. It really is. To let go and let God or let go and believe that all is well, all will be well.

Amy: Yeah, just surrender and trust, right?

Amy: Yeah. One of the things I would do too, speaking of that, is when Justin was relapsing and stuff, I mean I wanted to know everything, you know? And my sister, I remember, I got hold of one of his old phones as soon as he went to treatment. This was back in 2021. Yeah, I needed to know all. And my sister finally was like, "Don't you know enough?" And I was like, "Yeah..."

Whitney: You're spinning too.

Amy: I do, I really was. And so after that, it became this asking of "Show me whatever I need to see" and just relaxing into that and trusting, because I was always shown what I needed to see. And so if you're dealing with someone that perhaps you feel the wool is being pulled over your eyes in some way, or you're just being lied to or whatever, then just relaxing into "Show me anything I need to see." I mean literally I found a little bottle of Fireball in Gigi's room like yesterday, and so...

Whitney: And how old is Gigi? 16? 17?

Amy: 16. Anyway, but I mean like, you're going to be shown what you need to see at all times. Been there. And I was looking, I was in her room looking for a hole puncher and I find that. And you know what? You're going to be shown what you need to see at all times. And I think there's a surrender and a trust into "Just show me whatever I need to see." And so that made me relax in our relationship too. Like I don't need to go hunting for things. I'm going to be shown what I need to see, whether it's someone reaching out or whether it's a sign or whether it's just your instinct going like, "Hmm, something's off," you know? That was a really good one for me, just "Show me whatever I need to see." So if you're feeling suspicious...

Whitney: (laughs) A little suspicious. Well look, and I mean to be quite honest, in this stage of our life, a lot of long marriages and stuff are starting to unwind or...

Amy: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just went into my third marriage, you know? And like, I think it just made me, I was thinking about it just literally the other day 'cause Justin was meeting with this woman that's working with us, and she's just a doll, I just fucking love her. And he was like, "She told me I could come over," or whatever, and I was like, "Yeah," and then I was like, "Don't fall in love with her."

Whitney: Did you say that out loud?

Amy: Yeah! And he started laughing, he was like, "Honey, I'm not going to fall in love with anybody but you." But there was a, after that I kind of tapped into that same feeling of "I'm always shown what I need to see." And I had this moment of too, like, I'm not even scared of it really because everything is working out all the time. But always just I think I have this relaxed attitude to "I'm always going to be shown what I need to see." Period. Like it's just going to somehow come into my field of vision. Uh, I'm going to chat with her, you know? Because really it made me check my priorities with her, and the number one is don't drink and drive. And so I'm going to tap into that and really have a frank conversation with her about that. Like that can, that can jack your life up in all directions.

Whitney: Yeah, absolutely.

Amy: So yeah, so just a frank discussion about that. Call an Uber, call me, whatever we need to do. And so, really that's what's the most important thing. But also I wanted to tell her Fireball will make you black out, like come on.

Whitney: Yeah, that's not good.

Amy: Like, I remember drinking, I remember my last shot of Fireball. I mean it's delicious. I actually don't remember my last shot of Fireball. I remember the shot and then that's it. But I remember blacking out, so yeah. I was on stage too, performing.

Whitney: (laughs) Oh, true rockstar! In the band? In a band performing?

Amy: So true rockstar. I know, they said I was like a little bit like "We do what we want!"

Whitney: That's funny. I was just, yeah.

Amy: So anyway, yeah, that was my last time I drank Fireball and now I don't drink.

Whitney: Yeah, that's something that I do want to talk about at some point because...

Amy: Okay, let's talk about drinking.

Whitney: I actually think as far as signs go, you know, and I have this conversation with myself all the time because I drink, I like to drink, it's fun for me.

Amy: Oh, I like to drink. Don't get me wrong.

Whitney: Yeah, but then I go, "Is it? Is it fun for me?" because getting older, it doesn't, for about five minutes. It doesn't feel, I'm waking up in the middle of the night, I'm not, you know, getting good sleep, which we know is very important. And I feel bad about, I feel guilty even though I didn't do anything wrong, like it just brings up some negative feelings.

Amy: Oh, hell yeah it does.

Whitney: And then my brain will be like, "You're shrinking me," you know? "That's why you can't remember anything because you had wine last night." But on a vibrational level, it really does mute you. So and I feel like once you got sober, things really started to happen fast for you. Do you feel like that?

Amy: Well, yeah sort of, it took me a couple years though to get all out in the wash.

Whitney: Well, I'm not saying it happened overnight, but I'm saying yes, yes, yes! It does, that clear-headedness, it does up it for things happening for you. Yes.

Amy: Yeah. So I would love to do an episode on that.

Whitney: I want to, I'm sober-curious.

Amy: Yeah, you get more tapped in on signs and all that kind of stuff.

Whitney: Yeah, absolutely. So the universe is sending you signs to tell you what, where you need to go next, what you need to know about yourself, because the thoughts in your own head most of the time are not true. And women can be so brutal, especially as we age. So mean to ourselves. And that is creating a narrative that is creating your life. So gotta get out of that head frame, that frame of mind.

Amy: For sure. And into that "yes" frame, which is saying yes to things to open yourself up to more signs. So you're just like, "Okay, fine, I'm open to signs." I actually think that's a great mantra. You could even use sarcasm: "I'm so open to signs. Signs are just, they're literally falling on my head. Can't even believe how open to signs I am. Can you believe it? I am so open to signs, like I'm spreading my legs for signs, hello!"

Whitney: (laughs) Like Seven-Eleven!

Amy: That's right. Oh man. And so exactly, I think that that is actually really useful. And then you're like, "Yes, yes, bring it on," you know? And that'll all work in your favor. So if you need a sign, there's a direction to find some signs. Communicate, communicate that you want them, then truly be open to seeing them because they are everywhere. And then when you get one, don't doubt it.

Whitney: No, don't doubt it. I think that's what a lot of, so many people do. They're like, "Eh, was that a sign?" Well just like your joke about "I need a signier sign."

Amy: Yeah, Justin talks about that. He had this whole vision of helping people in the rainforest. He goes to the rainforest...

Whitney: And that vision came out of the blue?

Amy: Out of the blue, sober. And then he gets to the rainforest like three weeks later and his vision like is actually true, he sees it, and then they're like, "Help us," and he's like, "I need a better sign." And even then, yeah, he was like, "I don't think I can... okay one more, one more sign." And then he got the sign, right? Because after he had the vision...

Whitney: What could be a bigger sign than actually seeing the people and they go "Help us"?

Amy: I know! And he needed a signier sign. And he needed a signier sign. So he was like, "I need a signier sign," and he had written down on a piece of paper what he felt about the people, like poor, oppressed, you know, all these hungry, tired, whatever. And at the top he had written "forgotten," like he just felt like they were forgotten. And so the signier sign was: the guy came to him and said, "Oh, everyone calls us the forest people, but we call ourselves the forgotten."

Whitney: Oh!

Amy: And he was like, "That's why it's called Fight for the Forgotten." And so he was like, "Okay, there's the sign." And so you know, if you do need a signier sign, there's nothing wrong with asking for it. Just stay open to it.

Whitney: Yeah, just like my friend, she's like, "You're going to need to try harder." And they did. They did. Yeah, I mean it wasn't you. No, no, no, no, she told her dead friend, yeah, that she needed a signier sign. And then it was like instant, which is crazy.

Whitney: Sometimes I try to like ask, my husband didn't really like to do what I said. Like if he said something funny and then I laughed and I'd be like, "Say that again, what was that?" he'd be like, "No, not doing it again."

Amy: Justin does that to me all the time! He goes, "Say that again, do that again." And I'm like, "It's a one-off. If you're not paying attention, I'm sorry, that's your problem."

Whitney: Yeah, so that was my husband. So when I asked for specific signs, I can literally see his eyes rolling like, "I'm not your monkey. I'm not going to perform for you," you know? So you have to also be aware of the, you know, the people that you're asking for. But with the universe, they're always going to bring you the signs. Just got to communicate, ladies.

Whitney: I meant to mention this up top, too: I'm listening to Elizabeth Gilbert's latest book, "All the Way to the River," but it has a lot about, you know, her partner passed, Rayya, and it has a lot about communication and like how over time it has dwindled off because she has to recognize that she doesn't need it as much and she has more of an understanding.

Amy: You mean since her partner passed away and she's been, they used to talk constantly.

Whitney: Listen, same thing with my husband and I. And as a matter of fact, I went on a girls' trip and we happened to walk by this place where they were like balancing your chakras, you know? And so I was like, "I want my chakras balanced." So I go in there and the lady starts telling me, "You're too connected with someone on the other side."

Amy: Too connected?

Whitney: Too connected. And I go, "What do you mean too connected?" and she goes, "You're at a ten and you need to be at a two." And I was like, "That doesn't even make sense to me." And I remember like being angry about it 'cause I'm like, "That's my husband, he's dead, we are communicating in a way that I love."

Amy: No, this is heartbreaking.

Whitney: But then, so then I come home and I kind of forget about it, and then I go see an energy healer and she says, "Your husband is so locked in to what's happening here that he hasn't even looked around to see where he is."

Amy: It was keeping him from being free.

Whitney: Yes. He hadn't even had his life review yet, which I don't know if you know this, this is something that I know and believe from all of my studies: when you die, you know, your life flashes before you. When you die, you have a life review and, you know, in the Bible it makes it seem like God is judging you, but really you are judging yourself.

Amy: Oh, God lives within us.

Whitney: Yeah, and you get to feel everything great that you made people feel and you get to feel all the terrible things that you made people feel. You get to experience it all.

Amy: No! I didn't know this at all. I mean, sort of, but not really.

Whitney: So my husband, and this was probably seven months in or something, was so locked in. So I had to say, "You can go," and really believe it and he had to go. So I didn't communicate with him as often anymore. You know, it actually was, I didn't get it at the time, I was angry, but later it made sense. Yeah, we're keeping each other from moving forward in our own process.

Amy: Makes sense. Makes sense. Um, did it remind you of that movie "The Black Phone"? Did you ever watch that?

Whitney: No, it was too scary. I don't like scary movies.

Amy: It's scary, but one of the things I found interesting about it is people are calling on this phone who have been hurt by this killer and they're trying to help the person who's still alive. Wait, hold on. The person who's dead calls the person who's going to be dead next on a phone. Yeah, they're like trapped in this basement, there's a phone in there and it rings and they answer it and it's these people from beyond who are trying to help and, but they keep kind of forgetting. And they're like, "I can't remember, this is fading." And I found that so interesting, like that you become more of the universal consciousness and your memory of down here just fades because that's what's going to happen. And so if you're still feeling so connected, like you and Hunter were, you know, like you're not able to pass, to really pass.

Whitney: Well, we just have work to do. I have work to do here and, sadly, from all the reading that I've done, we're still doing work up there. And I was really bummed about that. I was like, "I'm tired! I don't want to do any more work!"

Amy: Me neither.

Whitney: But he has work to do there, I have work to do here, and we were distracting each other in a way that was not necessary. Still staying entangled.

Amy: Enmeshed.

Whitney: Yeah. But he, but he's still very much, you know, he was on the drive with me today apologizing.

Amy: Yeah. Well, that's what she says in this book too, in Elizabeth Gilbert's book "All the Way to the River." It's like: there's still moments, but they're not as frequent. And she understands that she still has work to do here and...

Whitney: Well, and you're healing too, so you don't, you're not sitting in that as much. I don't know, I mean I want to read her book. I love, I saw an interview with her and I love that she was like, "I mean, I'm the 'Eat Pray Love' lady and I'm fucked up."

Amy: Yeah! Yeah.

Whitney: You know? I mean, she's like, "I've been on a spiritual journey for 30 years, I've been in therapy for 30 years, and I'm still trying to figure it out."

Amy: She talks about the codependent nature of what she did with the money from that book. Oh, I know, she was giving it away to every which way she could. It was wild. It is so interesting. So yeah, highly recommend that. I'm not done with it, but I keep playing segments of it for Justin too. I'm like, "You gotta listen to this." And I play it.

Whitney: No, I definitely want to get it. I've got so many books open right now, I got to wait.

Amy: Why? What are you reading right now?

Whitney: Um, I'm reading "The World is Waiting for You," which is, she's an actress named Edwina, I can't remember her last name, but it's very God-driven. It's really, really good. But it's talking about all of the ways that life, just like what we're saying...

Amy: Is it like Christian God-driven?

Whitney: Yeah. It, I mean, she's talking about God, she's quoting the Bible, but she's giving...

Amy: (laughs) Don't say that! There's only so much Bible I can take, I'm sorry.

Whitney: Well, she's talking about God and how God has al, she's always had a direct line. I mean, we all do, but we forget and we don't nurture it. So opening up. She's always been nurturing it. And so even when she was young, people would stop her on the street and be like, "God has a message for you."

Amy: Wow.

Whitney: Crazy stuff. And so her whole book is about learning how to tap into that and knowing that God has a bigger dream for yourself than you ever had. You know?

Amy: Love that. What's it called again?

Whitney: It's called "The World is Waiting for You." And it's really good. But it does mention God and Bible verses, but it's really, really good. I think you would like it. It's not like judgey.

Amy: Okay, good. As long as it's not judgey. 'Cause if it's a, I'm gonna judge anything that's judgey. Okay? I'm gonna judge the fuck out of that.

Whitney: (laughs) Okay, I hear you, I hear you. Um, well I think, I mean, hopefully you guys got something out of this. I feel like the whole point was: there are signs waiting for you to notice them that are going to help you get where you want to go or even kind of show you where you need to go next. Which, in this stage of my life, I'm grateful for because I don't fucking know.

Amy: One year I remember, I like to get a word for the year or something, and I remember one year, I started seeing my birthday on the time. Like I would just glance at the time and it was like on...

Whitney: When is your birthday?

Amy: 8:26. And I would see that time all the fucking time. And I was like, "What in the world?" but I realized I was in a rebirth phase and it was about rebirth for me, and so I, to me I translated that that way. That's what it meant to me. So I think maybe we could change midlife to "rebirth."

Whitney: (laughs) Hell, I'm all for it, you know?

Amy: That's today's rebrand. So we're rebranding midlife, and so today we're going to go with "rebirth" until we think of something better.

Whitney: Yeah, I'm all for it. All right, so there's, that was your sign! Oh my god! That was your sign! I love it.

Amy: Yeah, so I just think, you know, whether it's numbers or whatever, just like you can be like, "What does that mean?" and what pops in your head is what it means. Just trust. Just trust.

Whitney: Right. Right.

Amy: All right, well do, do you need to do a pep talk today or anything? How are you feeling?

Whitney: I think I kind of just did, but I can do it again. Like the universe is with you! Do I need to get my pom-poms out?

Amy: Yes! Get them! I'm going to get them. I'm going to get them, girl. Here they are!

Whitney: The universe is with you! It's got your back! Everything that you're hoping for can happen, you just have to co-create with the creator and, I believe in you! The universe believes in you! Open your eyes! It's time to wake up and get to a better life! Now! Right now! You got this! This is your sign! This is your sign!

Amy: (laughs) They want a signier sign!

Whitney: (laughs) Whitney is available for your own personal pep talk as well.

Amy: (laughs) So I, I love a pep talk. I love a good classic old-fashioned just, yeah, pep me up, just gas me up, just purely the...

Whitney: Well I, I literally start to get jazzed up by... Did you say jazzed up? Did you just say jazzed up?

Amy: I said "gassed."

Whitney: Oh, okay. Gassed up. Because I said "jazzed" the other day and my friend made fun of me. And then I was like, "Wait, did you just say it? No." But "gassed." Yeah, gassed, having some fun.

Amy: I know, we're going to jazzer-cise. It's great. I love this. I'm glad we talked about signs, and you know, I think in the wellness context too, you could even ask for like, "Just make it obvious what direction I should be going or..." You know, if something doesn't feel right, if you don't want to wear the weighted vest, if you're like, "The weighted vest just seems dumb," well then you don't need it! Like, you don't have to do it. Listen to your intuition, because that's a sign.

Whitney: I didn't know, I didn't even know about weighted vests until you told me.

Amy: Oh, and now you've got one! One other person had mentioned it like last week and I was like, "Why am I not on the weighted vest train? I missed the memo completely."

Whitney: Oh, well now that you have one, you're going to see them everywhere.

Amy: No, I just ordered it, so I'm waiting on it. It should arrive today and I can't wait. All right, we'll wear them together. How heavy is yours?

Whitney: 12 pounds.

Amy: That's what I ordered! Okay. Yay! We're going to be twins. I ordered 12 or 16. It was somewhere around there. 12, I think.

Whitney: Okay, well we'll go walking with our weighted vests.

Amy: I can't wait! I'm so excited. Should we podcast in them?

Whitney: (laughs) Yeah, of course! We're going to do all the things.

Amy: I love it. And you know what? If you don't want to do all the things, that's okay too, because it's your life and you make the rules. And ultimately, we do what we want.

Whitney: (laughs) We do what we want! Yes!

Amy: Okay! Yay! Miracle workers.

Whitney: Miracle workers. Boom.